Remember when we used to blog?

It was a fun time, but it's not so much fun being single. If you asked a girl what show was a super supporter for the single lady, Sex and the City would undoubtedly come to mind, and I love Carrie and the gang (I'm a Charlotte) just as much as any 24-year-old. But, in the end, three of them get married and an entire movie is devoted to two marriages and the dissolution of a long-term relationship. It became less and less okay for any of these strong, independent NYC characters to be single, and as we grow older the pressure becomes more palpable. Luckily, my two older siblings aren't married, so I'm not even on my parent's radar. Others, not so lucky. To all of you who are getting the third degree or the poor, unfortunate souls (Little Mermaid) looks from your loved ones, pull a Samantha and tell them to suck it. I will.

'Tis the season

Wedding fever is sweeping my beloveds! And the only prescription? Crafting... of course. I have been a busy bee! Behold...

Bridal Shower invites...

And something for the girl of the hour...

So much fun to be able to help out the loved ones.

Meeting the Family

This is the ever so dreaded event that I avoid when in a relationship. I had a bad experience in my younger years in which my boyfriend announced at the first meeting of my grandparents that his family is part of an elusive mafia crime family, and therefore under witness protection. I've been haunted by it ever since and therefore put off 'meeting the family' until I absolutely have to.
Recent circumstances made the meeting of BOTH families inevitable. Although there was no lack of trying to put it off on my end. My mom gradually convinced me over the last few weeks to have him come to Easter dinner. After much thought, I realized it would probably be a good idea to get it over with before I bring him as my date to my brothers wedding in June. So I gave in.
After prepping Drummer Boy (that name is awful, I really should think of something else) for what he was about to walk into, the day seemed to go rather swimmingly. The biggest surprise was how chatty my younger sister was with him! She’s quite the introvert and hardly socializes at these sorts of gatherings. But they were chatting away! For Grandpa, Im pretty sure it was love at first sight when he got handed a bottle of Johnny Walker Black. He loves a good drinking partner. I was most worried about dad, but he surprisingly was the most easy going of everyone! So to sum it up, SUCCESS!
Now, this weekend, on to part deux. HIS family is coming out to visit. And I have a full day with them at Disneyland. Im not really nervous. I mean, were going to be at the happiest place on earth after all. Wish me luck! I’ll report back!

n other relationship news, you may have heard there was a Royal Wedding today….

Photograph, people.com

Sex and the City

An homage to our namesake.

For all the ladies out there, E! (the home of such horribles as the Kardashians and their numerous spin-offs) has begun showing Sex and the City. I had a significant break from the show since it was in syndication on TBS, but I just switched it on and it was the infamous "Post-It" episode. For those of you who are drawing a blank, this is the episode after Burger breaks up with Carrie on a Post-It note and writes, "I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me". While I can't say that I have ever contemplated a break-up via stationary, I can say that I have wanted to say those exact same words. Because sometimes you just can't give them what they want or need and you never want them to hate you. It just happens sometimes, and you have to admit it to yourself.

On a lighter NOTE, here's Carrie's amazing tirade to his friends:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhjCh6iZ1lI&feature=related

Carl Kirk

I just got hit on by someone who works at Carl's Jr. That cannot be a good sign. I got some In 'n' Out on my way home from work. T'was delicious as always! But the inevitable happened... I spilled spread all over my pants and needed to wipe them off PDQ, to avoid the stain that was sure to occur. I made a decision; one that will haunt me indefinitely. I pulled in to the CJ's parking lot (my first mistake was thinking you could get cleaner by going in a Carl's Jr). I walked into the bathroom, but before I got there I felt really guilty because I was going to use their restroom without buying anything. So I made my like 8th mistake of this story. I ordered a shake, to ease my conscience. And then... the 19th inevitable thing happened...

The guy, named "KIRK" (via his name tag), hit on my stained ass.

Winter Wonderland

Well I think most will agree with me that the holidays are so much sweeter when you have a special someone to share it with.  Im still seeing drummer boy and I have to say, things are going quite well.  Sometimes I even feel as if Im living through scenes of some of my favorite movies.  It quite nice.

photo courtesy of LIFE magazine

I've always felt that when you start dating someone and in some relationships, one person is always more 'into it' than the other.  One always feels a little bit (or a lot) stronger about the relationship.  This is totally true by the way, I can present several cases of friends and my own relationships that will attest to this.  Its been a while since I've been in a long term relationship but I would assume that these feelings level off at some point so that both people meet in the 'middle.'  I would hope so.  When i first started seeing drummer boy, I felt like we were on the same level and was stoked!  Gradually I started to feel like his interest was peaking a bit more than mine.  Which is great!  I mean come on, it's pretty nice to have the upper hand!  However, Im realizing this is a pretty amazing guy and I want us to be on the same level.  Im getting there, slowly letting go of some of my hangups.  But will we ever be on the same page?  I have to say, I think he might have sealed the deal for me with this KILLER mix tape he made me as part of my Christmas gift.  I could tell he put so much thought into it and it put a huge smile on my face.  I don't know how else to explain it, but something definitely changed for me in the last 24 hours.
So I guess you could say we're slowly meeting each other at that level.  As always, time will tell.

My next dilemma is how to handle the 'we met on a dating site' issue.  I mean, at my age people aren't necessarily having the 'will you be my girlfriend' conversation.  I think its more something that is just kind of assumed after a certain amount of time.  But i know talking to several of my girlfriends, we all feel some sort of conversation or agreement on exclusivity should be had.  I think this usually happens around the 2-3 month point, depending on how much time you have been spending together.  We women start to wonder if our man is talking to other girls, and one of the silliest but quite legit questions; How do I refer to him?  Is he my man, man friend, lover, guy Im dating, friend, or is he my boyfriend?  Hilarious, I know!  But any girl out there reading this will agree its a question that will run through our mind until its clarified.  Online dating makes this even more complicated.  Because the whole time you are dating, you both know that the both of your are on a dating site which is a Starbucks of single men and women.  You have access to all these people online 24-7.  You can be as picky as you want because there are so many choices.  Tall, grandé, extra sugar, dark, decaf, extra shot, bold brew, no whip.  The possibilities are endless!  Therefore I feel that especially when its a case where you met online; it needs to be established that neither of you are using the service anymore.  I realize this doesn't mean that either person isn't out at a bar chatting it up with some stranger.  But it certainly narrows the playing field.  In my case, Im not pushing for this conversation any time soon.  But I feel like it may be soon approaching.

Hope all you lovers out there get your new years kiss!  And a special shout out to one of our readers and a good friend, Stephanie.  Congratulations on your engagement!  Very happy for you both!

MEEEOOWWWW!

There is just something about musicians right?  Why are they always super sexy?  And let me just say its pretty rare to fine a super sexy, super cool, musician that has his life together.  WINNER!
Well I just had date #2 last night with Drummer Boy.  Any guesses?  I know, sometimes i just go with the obvious for these nicknames.  Our first date was pretty nice.  A fellow fan of downtown he suggested Pete's Cafe.  A delight!  To be honest it was a bit tough at first.  He seemed quite nervous and like he hadn't done this in a while.  I wondered if he would be ready to leave after our first round of drinks.  On the contrary, we ended up staying there for almost 3 hours!
The first date goodbye is so awkward.  There is always a hug unless the date goes horribly wrong and you are dashing out the door to escape.  But typically there you both are, saying your goodbye, and wondering if you should go in for the kill, will he?  Palms sweat, butterfly stomach, nervous twitch and THEN!.... it happens, like magic.  I do love magic.  You both lean in at the same time and its perfection... well almost perfection.
Date 2 was even better.  And thats all I'm going to say about that :)

Warning: Twitter is Taking Over Your Dating Life

I was super stoked to finally me Cheeky.  We had exchanged some lovely emails and had a decent phone conversation.  However, our date happen to fall on a week that my life was turned upside down at work.  I was exhausted at the end of the day.  Although excited to meet him, I was pooped.  My mistake was deciding to send out a tweet telling the Twitter world just how i felt.  Oh yes, I tweet.  Occasionally, but I've been more active the last month or so.  I figure Facebook doesn't want to hear what Im doing all the time.  But Twitter.. thats what its made for!
Mid date we got into a discussion about Facebook, Twitter, etc.  After Cheeky confessed his slight obsession with the site, I admitted I too indulged in the site occasionally.  BIG MISTAKE.  As he pulled out his phone to 'follow' me, I got a flash of my latest tweet.  "Totally not in the mood for a first date right now.  Im exhausted and would much rather go home and sleep."  Panicked, I realized there was no going back.  He was in and was going to see it.  I giggled with embarrassment and explained what he was about to see.  And made sure he knew that I was having a fabulous time and was happy I came.  He laughed and seem to take it well.  We were a few drinks in by now.
Well Twitter ended up backfiring.  Its bad enough trying to get a guy to actually call you on the phone and not just text or email.  And I'll give Cheeky credit, he did call to set up the date.  However, basically all of our communication after the date was on Twitter.  Really?  This is what the world has come to?  So sad that I am even writing about this right now.  Anyway, the night was full of laughs.  But the only action I got after that was a couple tweets @cheeese.  I guess you never know.  I had a really great time, but couldn't compete with the Twitterverse!

Are You Wearing... Transition Lens's?

Alright kids, here we go, my first date back in the game.  I had several lovely emails with The Italian Heart and was really looking forward to our first date.  Sadly this guy indulged in one of my pet peeves... not planning the date that you asked me on.  Sorry guys, but you asked the lady out, you should have something planned.  Especially on a first date.  Im the kind of gal that likes a guy to take initiative!  But I digress.  I suggested the Day of the Dead festival for our afternoon date being that is was Halloween weekend.
Bad choice.
I had never been and had no idea how crazy it was going to be.  It was worse than Disneyland, we could barely walk.  However all I could focus on was what appeared to be transition lens glasses on his face.  The sun was setting so the glasses couldn't figure out if they wanted to be light or dark.  You know who wears those?  My dad.  You know who shouldn't wear those, my date.
Conversation was good.  However there was something missing.  There was no draw.  We had talked about getting together again which I was unsure about but went along with.  Might give him another try, considering the date location was so awful.  But the next day I was sure that a second try was unnecessary.  After all, I was paying for a dating service, I think I get to be as picky as I want.  Unfortunately I had bought a mirror for my sister that night and left it in his car.  I debated sucking it up through a second date to get the mirror back.  But, it was only $25 and quite frankly I'd rather not waste either of our time.
Lesson learned: Dont plan first dates in crowded areas.  Also, people can be better or worse in person compared to their photos.  Just keep this in mind.  Thats all!

On a different note...

...VOTE! It's voting day and this midterm election is sure to be a historic one. Left wing, right wing - loose wing, tight wing. Because if nothing else Dr. Seuss has taught us to rhyme and let our voices be heard! So hooray to you, voter, take that mandated time off to vote and connect some ballot lines!

Sleepless in Seattle...

...or in my parent's house.

Okay so the last few weeks I have been having creepy recurring dreams, all of which involve one or more of the men mentioned in this blog. Example 1: Nomad is running through the airport looking for someone, and I'm running after him yelling for him not to go to Africa. I never see his face but, because it's a dream and we are all-knowing beings in our own dreams, I know it's him. He gets to the gate and I think he's going to get on, so I reach to grab his ankle but then I eat it and fall on my face. He runs onto the plane. The stewardess comes up and tells me to leave. So I'm walking away, dejected, and who taps me on the shoulder.... o ya.... you know it - Nomad. And he says, I thought you were on the plane I had to stop you.

Funnily enough this occurred the day BEFORE Thousand Oaks' native son Steve Slater slided it off the Jet Blue Airplane with a beer in hand, giving the middle finger to all involved, no longer allowing himself to be called a steward or flight attendant. Not sure what I am referring to? http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/jetblue_attendant_flips_out_flees_EJ6RiGgCZiZxGmo2xsU2TI
There, don't say I never did anything for you.

Example 2: Only last night, this tasty dream drops in on me - I'm sitting in my old classroom with a horrible professor bla bla bla'ing and there's a knock at the door. Only I hear it and turn around, and who who whoooo is it (owl shout out for my peeps! Get it? Peeps? No? Fine). why it's Superhero Gangster, motioning for me to come out. I'm shocked to see him because he's currently two states away (I'm sad still yes) but of course I shuffle out. He just says "Hey I needed to come down so I wanted to say hi!" So he takes me to get food and then he has to leave. He gives me a hug and a kiss. He drops me back off at school and, guess what, I start booking it after the car, like a woman possessed or an antelope. I'm not sure which.

Common theme - I am RUNNING after these guys in both instances. O man, even my subconscious is in trouble.

Here's to better rest and not remembering every detail of my damn dreams.

Return of the Jedi

O hello there! It's a pleasure to be back. O wait... no it's not, because back to the blog means back to the single life. Superhero Gangster left about a month ago. He moved two states away for a new job, and didn't want to do long distance. I don't blame him. At this stage in our lives, we want to spend time with the person we're dating. Maybe once you're engaged or married you can deal with it for a while, but we dated for 6, blissful, non-dramatic months and I wound never change one thing about it. Except, him moving.

In any case, I have been dealing with the disappointment fairly normally, for me at least - I'm trying to stay busy and talk to him just once a week, text little more than that. It's hard. When you feel like you found someone who meshes so well with you, it's a bitch. And it will be for a while.

If you believe in any karmic intervention, send me some positive vibes, hopeful vibes, not so single vibes. Thank you in advance my little ones.

So, Do You Have a Boyfriend?

A couple weeks ago i found myself at a friends birthday party faced with this very question.  It was one of those parties where no one really knew each other except for the person whose birthday we were celebrating.  So we all went through the typical meet and greet chatting; What do you do?  Where do you live?  How do you know so and so?  In addition the party's attendants were all couples.  I found myself in a situation many single gals fear and try to stay away from.  After countless phone calls and text to several friends trying to get someone, anyone to accompany me to this party.  I still found myself there alone and suddenly faced with the question, Do you have a boyfriend?
It was odd really.  I didn't know how to react.  I mean really its a simple yes or no question.  But when presented with it, I felt the need to explain to this girl why in fact, I was single.  It started off fine, I said no, Im here by myself.  I then however went on telling her how, I like being single, and i've always been an independent person, and God knows what else...trying to defend my singlehood.  What the hell is wrong with me?
I got out of there shortly after.  But it got me thinking.  The older I get, the more 'sticky single situations' I seem to face.  Other single gals out there know exactly what im talking about. One of them is the very story I've just told.  Being the odd one out at a party full of couples.  Or how about weddings, holiday parties, and the worst one of all, Valentine's day.  I myself will be dealing with a wedding, minus the plus one next month.  I was a little annoyed at first.  I am after all driving to northern California to attend this wedding.  The least you can do is let me bring a date.  But I think in cases like this we have to remember, its really not about us, and our sad single life.  The bride and groom are just trying to save a few bucks.  Knowing they are keeping the wedding small, I cant be too upset.  However, it will be yet another situation where, because its a coworker, i will know about a handful of people in the room, and probably be forced to have this conversation again, fun.  At least I'll be prepared this time and keep it short and sweet.
These situations suck.  But whenever Im faced with them, if I must be faced with them.  I try and remind myself of all the perks of being single!  Saving money, actually having time for the gym, free reign over the TV, girl time, a clean bathroom, and being able to pretty much do whatever I want :)

He Can Talk the Talk

Why does this keep happening to me?  He can talk the talk, but doesn't walk the walk, so to speak.  The guys I am talking to these days have all the right things to say.  Which is great!  They are wonderful amazing things that give me that butterfly in my stomach.  But where is the follow through?  Where are the moves?  Where are you?  And what is the point?  I mean sure, it puts a smile on my face and makes me feel good, but...make the plans!  And don't flake!  And side note, I don't care who you are, best friend, coworker, boyfriend, girlfriend, flaking is the worst and is just plain rude.  Once in a while, I understand but lets not make a hobby out of it.
Status update!  I am still wearing the crown on this blog for awkward date moments.  First date, wasn't sure it was a date, but it was, which is fine.  After I saved our movie 'date' with my iPhone, I was dropping Iowa home.  That's right, he didn't have a car.  I know, I pick the winners.  Here comes the award for Most Awkward Goodbye.  He leans in, I of course assume for a hug.  The kiss lands on my cheek, but slightly underneath my eye, kind of on the side of my nose.  I felt so bad I didnt see it coming.  The after date text read:  I blame it on the glasses.  I'd like to thank my glasses, for making that line possible, without which I would not be receiving this award.  Thanks Iowa, one for the story book!

Every Single Gal Should Go!

Even the ones who aren't single. Its pretty cheese but still fabulous!

Eenie Meenie

i dont care. i love bieber. And the song... sometimes its me...

Location Report: Venice

We all know i love a good bearded man. There is no short supply of these hairy cuties in Venice. But I warn you BEWARE!

Venice Beach: Cute guys, that are douchebags.

Oh, and your first clue should be when he says he lives a couple blocks away. Because they ALL do.

Answer me this. When was the line "how protective are you of your pussy" working for you? Or how about "have you ever had a guy lick your butthole?" Que? Was that getting you action before? Doubt it. Stay away from the Brig!

The Other Room is pretty chill. I usually go during the week. But Saturday night... no. No. These guys are hot and they know it. They know it very well. LA bar scene just sucks lately.

Venice is great for some eye candy, but dont expect to meet a genuinely nice guy..just saying.

Why Bother?

Hello readers! Apologies for lack of blogging lately. Unlike paiting pimp, I have not been absent because of a relationship. I just fell off the dating wagon for a while...
NONETHELESS!
What is the deal with guys texting you, maybe asking you something, maybe just saying whats up. We respond and then... nothing. What? Why the hell are you even texting me?
Oh, and how about this one. Here is the text message convo:
Him: Hey how have you been? When are we hanging out again?
You: Pretty good... umm whenever, lets hang out
Him: OK, well let me know when you are free and we'll do something

...What?? What was the point of that? Are you asking me to hang out? Then effing ask me to hang out!! Yes, Im talking about 5-0. Lamesauce
Grab your sack, and waggle it.

And we're back!

I apologize for my absence. As this is a dating blog, I haven't had much to discuss. I've been dating Superhero Gangster since January, and it's been fantastic. No drama, no hassles, nothing. He makes me laugh and smile constantly, and I have been content.

Not to say that there's nothing going on in the single world. I've been attempting to play matchmaker for several people. It's been a bit rocky. I'm not God damn Patty Stanger after all. Maybe if I keep hanging out with all the Jewish teachers I work with I'll pick up some more skills. I did have one success with Nomad. You know who you are little teacher. I will be dancing at that wedding.

One of my friends from long ago and far away emailed me the other day. She will be called... uh... o damn it I've lost my touch for nick names... let's go with Canada. Ya that's not bad, Canada it is. So Canada asked me a question I wasn't prepared for. Something along the lines of "You're always in a relationship or dating or something... why?" or "What's your secret?" I literally have no idea. I'm serial dater. I'm more comfortable when I'm in a relationship than when I'm not, and when I get out of a relationship I like to date because it helps me to get over the relationship, and that invariably leads to another relationship. And the cycle continues. I didn't want to give advice, so I just told her to allow herself to meet to people, open herself up to possibilities, and realize that when you write off people too quickly, you can miss out on a great relationship, even if it ends in friendship and not looooove.

Date on my friends!

Green Dating, Part 2

After much rescheduling, 5-O and I finally met up for a little reunion. Something I call, tales of first dates, part deux.
I think we were both a bit nervous. It did feel, odd. But after a couple bottles of sake, we were good to go. Overall it was nice. But i felt like I could take it or leave it. There definitely wasnt the same spark or excitement there was with round 1.
We will both be 'celebrating' our 'anniversary' in Vegas in a few weeks. Not sure how that's going to go. Dont really care. Ill be with my girlfriends and a ridiculous ratio of men to women, all cops of course.
Should be a good story.