Hello, internet dating? There's been a mistake!

Oh what's that? There wasnt a mix up you say?? It seems like every time I meet a new female on the internet, they are the greatest thing since sliced bread. They are funny, endearing, and they can hold a conversation without saying anything completely retarded. And then, we get to the in-person date; the crucible, if you will. Suddenly the amazing person you met online is but a mere husk of a person. Was her brain erased before she made it out to the restaurant ? Did she tragically lose her sense of humor in an accident? It seems like when the date finally begins, she expects me to do all the work and be funny, and take the helm of the conversation. It just feels like one is on a date with a completely new person; I understand that there is the initial tension of meeting someone face to face for the first time, but after twenty minutes of a girl sitting quietly making me put in all the effort....I can only care so much to keep the effort going. Dates need to be on an equal ground, where both parties can be comfortable and able to converse with each other uninterrupted by third parties. I guess dating, and especially internet dating is like a war; every date is a new battleground with a new enemy, and the whole time you're trying to push forward to get in their foxhole. But sometimes you just have to ask yourself: can there be a treaty, or is it just time to drop the big one? War is hell. But I'd rather get shot in the leg than go on one more boring ass date.

-CupCake Bandit

"It's hot, the butter in my pocket is melting!"

Let's Just Be Friends

A few months ago, I started thinking about a few of my guy friends and the men I surround myself with. It's a pretty good mix, but something was glaring at me; there has been a lot of sexual chemistry between a lot of them (and me, not each other... just to clarify). One of my ex-boyfriends is one of my best friends, hands down. Although we have both moved on to date other people, there are moments when it becomes horribly obvious that he hasn't healed and I have my own attachment problems. Another good friend fits this description too, but the friendships keep truckin' because I'd rather have them in my life awkwardly then not at all.

But other than ex-flames, this single girl has now become to question whether or not platonic friendships are even possible. Some odd confessions have been made to me; drunk or sober, they're confessions nonetheless. I have at least one best friend who I know I'll never have to deal with this with, God willing. It doesn't just jeopardize the friendship, it freaks us out and makes us wonder what signs we have been missing.

And just a thought, when people pick out lobsters at a seafood restaurant, aren't they kind of playing God?

Giving it Another Shot

So, I was chatting with a couple of my single gals over superbowl beers about online dating. Now as we know, I have never had too much success with this. But after hearing some of my friends voctorious meetings from interdudes I was considering giving it another try.

About a week ago I decided to try with Match again. After realizing that $60 was too much for me to shell out I cancelled, but not before I talked to a couple guys. As usual nothing grabbed me. Last weekend me and the girls decided we were all going to try eHarmony together. We all felt it was the better choice and that guys on that site are more 'serious' than match guys. Where we came up with this rediculous conclusion, I have no idea.

So a few days ago I signed up. Remarkably I found a discount code that got me 3 months for only $30. I was amazed, and thrilled. Over the last couple days I have got a ton of matches and am talking to a few. I figure if anything it will make for some great stories for the blog world.

Stay tuned...

Beware Facebook Friending!

What is it with meeting crazy creeper guys? Not sure if i mentioned 'security' whom i met on new years when i was working. He wanted to go out and I politely told him I was seeing someone. He seemed fine with this. My mistake was accepting his friend request on facebook. He starts i-ming me every time I'm online. Not to mention always asking if i'm 'still with my guy' and even going as far as saying how lucky this guy must be and that he bets I'm crazy in the sack... WHAT??!!? I dont even know you!! Seriously.. major creeps!! I immediately deleted him from friends. Careful when you go to skybar.

Must Be Funny

One of the standard first questions in the dating world is "What do you look for in a man?" While we roll this question around in our heads, trying to dream up a perfect response to this man we've just met, I wonder if any of us ever actually have a good answer. It always keeps changing, after every man we date or grow to hate. The definition expands as our dating lives do. Wouldn't it be great if one day a man asked us that question and we could respond in one word: "you"?

After my dating marathon of a year, I could write a fairly entertaining mini-series on my new and improved definition of a perfect man. It would include: not a stress-case like "Nomad" but just as good looking, not an idiot like "Drunken Dancer", not an indecisive, dramatic 12-year-old girl like "Jimbo Jones", not a douche bag like "Mr. Hollywood", some good looks like "Minor League" without the ego, no "Frenchie's" with their excessive amounts of money, and, at all costs, avoid the boring, yet sweet, "IQ's".

Maybe the new year has given me this new perspective, and a new man. After speaking with "Ferrell" for a few minutes on New Year's Eve, he asked me the famous, aforementioned question. My response was simple, straight-forward, and a direct result of my most recent, failed dating blitz: "He has to be funny." I guess if I had to take out a personal ad, that would be the title, 'must be funny'. He can't take himself too seriously and he has to be able to make me laugh. So far, I'm still happily optimistic about "Ferrell" and myself. I think this is one of the best aspects of a new relationship; the other is the fireworks.

Easy Come, Easy Go

If you can get through the dating without becoming too emotionally invested, you won't care that it ends, period. Unfortunately, that almost never happens, because, as women, we tend to actually care. I recently lucked out. After casually dating a man for over a month when I realized something shocking; he was boring. Just really, very boring. It needed to end; I needed to get out of it before Christmas gifts were exchanged and guilt festered. So, with my best friend in the car, I had to end up ending things with him on the phone, which you never want to do because we bitch when it gets done to us. But, it had to go down. He was getting pissy and I was getting irritated. Rather than simply telling him that he was painfully dull at times, I lied... just a little lie though. I told him what we all say a times, "I can't give you what you need right now." It was true, in a way. He wanted me to be his girlfriend, and not date anyone else. I don't want that. Done. Simple as that. Isn't it an amazing feeling when you end it, on your terms, and it just works out? I think so. Single for another day.

Greek anyone?

So my latest date was with a greek gentlemen i met while out with my good luck charm. I swear, whenever I go out with this particular friend, I always meet a guy.

Moving on... so he was cute. Not typically what I go for good looking enough. We talked for an hour or so until the bar closed. Instead of giving in to his suggestion to come home with me I thought I'd see if he actually wanted to take this any further. Apparently he did because we had a date set for the following week! My only problem was that he was greek and had some very odd name that i forgot the instant that he told me. Somehow I was lucky when he had sent me a photo to show me a new iphone feature and his full name came up. Otherwise I would have been stuck playing the..."how do you spell your name?" game.

Now heres my problem. I know I write people off very quickly so men seriously need to keep me interested. Here's one thing that wont keep me... not taking any control. Listen guys: Im sure there are plenty of women out there that like to wear the pants and make all the decision but i'm not one of them. I want you to tell me where were going, what were doing, and when you will be picking me up. Mr Greek did none of this.

Trying to "give him a chance" as my best gal and oddly enough my mother insisted on, i suggested dinner and a movie. Long story short, he was late, i bought the tickets, but he bought dinner. I found out he'd never been in a serious relationship--at 23 that says something... im not writing him off--but it says something. He also seemed to have no direction, and kinda seemed like an alcoholic. I really wasnt that into it but he was a nice enough guy. I thought if he wanted to go out again i'd give him another chance. I knew I wouldn't have to worry about that after he gave me a half hug and didnt try for the kiss.

Another one bites the dust....