A lot has happened in the last month. Here’s a quick run-down: Ferrell is gone, literally. He is all over the country with work, spending less and less time in LA, and, thus, even less time with me. Apparently, I’m one of his “favorite and most respected people” he’s ever met. I guess I could chalk all of this up to bad timing – if we were in a different place at a different time, it could have worked. Actually, we would have literally had to have been in the SAME place at the SAME time. So, it didn’t work and I’m not happy about it. After five months, I acquired a lot of feelings for him and a number of (obviously) unrealistic expectations. So ya, I was upset and I still am. It sucks; whenever something ends, it sucks.
Moving on before I cry over the subject (which I haven’t done yet… quite amazing). Nomad is still AWOL, in Madagascar or the Bermuda Triangle or somewhere like that. I have been thinking more and more and probably too much about what could, should, and will happen when he returns. I know he thinks it’s not easy on his end, traveling around the beautiful places in the world without any desirable women in reach. But guess what, it’s hard here too. I have to go through work, school, and the rest while wrestling with the decision of whether I should hold out for a chance of happiness with Nomad or continue to see what is out there.
So, cough cough, maybe I’m doing a wee little bit of both.
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