photo courtesy of LIFE magazineI've always felt that when you start dating someone and in some relationships, one person is always more 'into it' than the other. One always feels a little bit (or a lot) stronger about the relationship. This is totally true by the way, I can present several cases of friends and my own relationships that will attest to this. Its been a while since I've been in a long term relationship but I would assume that these feelings level off at some point so that both people meet in the 'middle.' I would hope so. When i first started seeing drummer boy, I felt like we were on the same level and was stoked! Gradually I started to feel like his interest was peaking a bit more than mine. Which is great! I mean come on, it's pretty nice to have the upper hand! However, Im realizing this is a pretty amazing guy and I want us to be on the same level. Im getting there, slowly letting go of some of my hangups. But will we ever be on the same page? I have to say, I think he might have sealed the deal for me with this KILLER mix tape he made me as part of my Christmas gift. I could tell he put so much thought into it and it put a huge smile on my face. I don't know how else to explain it, but something definitely changed for me in the last 24 hours.
So I guess you could say we're slowly meeting each other at that level. As always, time will tell.
My next dilemma is how to handle the 'we met on a dating site' issue. I mean, at my age people aren't necessarily having the 'will you be my girlfriend' conversation. I think its more something that is just kind of assumed after a certain amount of time. But i know talking to several of my girlfriends, we all feel some sort of conversation or agreement on exclusivity should be had. I think this usually happens around the 2-3 month point, depending on how much time you have been spending together. We women start to wonder if our man is talking to other girls, and one of the silliest but quite legit questions; How do I refer to him? Is he my man, man friend, lover, guy Im dating, friend, or is he my boyfriend? Hilarious, I know! But any girl out there reading this will agree its a question that will run through our mind until its clarified. Online dating makes this even more complicated. Because the whole time you are dating, you both know that the both of your are on a dating site which is a Starbucks of single men and women. You have access to all these people online 24-7. You can be as picky as you want because there are so many choices. Tall, grandé, extra sugar, dark, decaf, extra shot, bold brew, no whip. The possibilities are endless! Therefore I feel that especially when its a case where you met online; it needs to be established that neither of you are using the service anymore. I realize this doesn't mean that either person isn't out at a bar chatting it up with some stranger. But it certainly narrows the playing field. In my case, Im not pushing for this conversation any time soon. But I feel like it may be soon approaching.
Hope all you lovers out there get your new years kiss! And a special shout out to one of our readers and a good friend, Stephanie. Congratulations on your engagement! Very happy for you both!