Sunday, May 31, 2009

Another Shot

I'm starting to see why there are so many bitches in in LA. Guys can be awful - really terrible. I know what you're thinking men, if any of you even read this blog - just another girl being bitter and dramatic because some guy slighted her. Not so! I am equally offended by the actions of women at times as well. I've said it for years and it still holds true: "Women can be bitches, but men can be assholes." So, with that said, let me have my rant please. Hold your comments till the end.

My best friend, Ubetcha, was stood up today, on a first date. Ridiculous. Unless something bad happened, he's an ass. To all you men (the 3 of you who read this), don't give women a reason to hate you. We talk, a lot, and your reputation will be drop kicked so fast no one will want to date you. Just sayin'...

Also, I feel like with guys, I always have to be the bigger person. I have to be the one to keep my mouth shut and accept the apologies when they come too late. I have to make stupid decisions about whether or not to give a guy a second chance. Can't you just not eff it up in the first place? Is it really that hard?

Here's today's example: Look who's back kids! Benny and the Jets! Oh ya - a blast from the past. After his incredibly odd way of ending things between us, there was over a month of no communication. As far as I was concerned it was over and he had turned his own issues into something I had done - I may have felt beaten up about that 2 years ago, but not anymore. I have far more confidence in my abilities when it comes to relationships now. We ended up talking when our Wheel of Fortune episode was about to air earlier this month. We were on camera for literally less than a second, but I'm still a superstar. Soon after, he apologized. He acknowledged the fact that his decision to end things was entirely on him, that I had been nothing but nice and straight forward and did not deserve the shitty way in which he chose to end things, and he disclosed some of the real reasons he backed off. Fine. Acceptable. Moving on.

Now I get to the point. Tonight was girl's night. I called Benny and the Jets to see if he could pull some strings to get us into the club he works at. We went after enjoying the roof at Kress and it was genuinely nice to see him. I had missed his smile and sweet demeanor. After I arrived back at home, I called to thank him and tell him that we had a lovely time. Everything was fine until he abruptly said "I need to talk to you tomorrow." "Why? Are you okay?" "I've just had it with you right now." Uhh... what? Really? What the hell is going on?

I sent him a text basically asking him the aforementioned questions. His response:
BATJ: "...hard for me to express myself sometimes and I say stupid things..."
ME: So what did you want to say?
BATJ: "I want another shot."

Just a footnote here, that is not the way to go about wooing a girl back for a second try. Come on men! Give me a break! I honestly have no idea anymore.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Humility is a Tricky Business

"Ugh" sums it up. Ferrell, if you're reading this, for the love of God I beg you stop. I'm gonna vomit. Maybe I should not have let the blog slide out of my mouth during a double sate with Ubetcha, Ferrell, and his friend, but it was a relevant addition to whatever conversation we were having. Nevertheless, I'm still feeling the panic.

But enough of that! I had an interesting conversation with a good friend of mine the other day. We were discussing our current dating situations, and my new expectations. And then he said something rather brilliant, and I will paraphrase it using the words from the Tough Love guy on VH1 - "It's okay to make exceptions for exceptional men". I mulled this over, and I agree, to an extent. I will compromise my comfort level when I really like someone, but my convictions are a different story, because in my opinion no one is special enough to make me drink or question the other values I hold especially high. And I wonder what the other singles out there would have to say about this...

Monday, May 4, 2009

What kind of jacked-up fairy tale is this?

If you’ve been keeping track, Nomad is gone. He is on another continent, and might as well be in another world. Last week, I was surprised to find a Facebook message from him. Long story short, he misses me. Can’t say I’m surprise, as he is surrounded by nuns and not getting any action… and hell I’m cute! Why the hell wouldn’t he miss me; but I digress…

After several emails back and forth, I realized that there is really only one question I need to ask him. What do you expect from me, now and when you come back home? If this was a fairy tale, here’s how it would go (I’m not making much of this up by the way, just using exaggeration to make it extra fun): the brave traveler leaves his charming love at home to save Africa one family at a time. He puts oceans between them, as his feeling are too much for him and, while in the quiet solitude of Africa, he realizes that she is the one person he feels he can open up to and be with. He returns home, months later and knocks on her door. She weeps and throws her arms around him, and the camera zooms out on their embrace [fade to black].

But this, my friends, is NOT Love in the Time of Cholera, nor is it Out of Africa, or any other romantic tale. It’s my life – and it’s not nearly as entertaining. I care about him, despite his anxiety, but I have my own issues to deal with. It’s like his life in Africa freezes him in time; his feelings for me and for us won’t change, because there is nothing to change them. It only took him several oceans between us for him to figure out he doesn’t want to be alone. But me? I’m in California dating Ferrells and douches and everything in-between, getting through graduate school and working my ass off. The likelihood of me being in the same place as he is in early August isn’t good. However, I’ll let this tiny part of my life play out in a fairy tale-like manner. I can play the heroine sometimes, but I don’t know if he can be my hero.

He’s actually kind of a douche bag….

I’ve had a guy named Minor League in the past, but this guy really meets the same criteria. Let’s dub him…. Minor League II. I don’t think I could know him by any other name. Let’s break this down: met him at a local bar/club about a month ago. He’s a nice guy; good-looking, funny, athletic… he fits the basic outline of a guy I’d date. But, and there’s always a but, he’s kind of oddly aggressive and, ya, kind of a douche. The aggression freaks me out – I’m a buck 15, this guy can take me, so the more aggressive he acts around me the weirder it gets. I don’t want to become a Lifetime movie here. As for being a douche, here’s an example:

MLII: Hey so what are you doing tonight? Do you maybe want to go out with me and some of my friends?
PP: Ya maybe. I’m in the middle of finals but I may want to take a break.
MLII: Cool, well do you think you could maybe pick us up later?
PP: Uh… what?
MLII: Well we’re already drinking so…
PP: What would you do if I can’t come?
MLII: Take a taxi cab I guess.

Really? I mean come on! I’m not your Dial-A-Ride! That’s strike 2, so he’s almost out.

Ferrell has been my main guy for four months now. I do really want to just be exclusive with him, but I’m going to fight that feeling and not push it with him. He’s not a vocal person when it comes to us, which I’ve mentioned before, and I need to feel it and not hear it. That’s my new mantra, and I’ll repeat it and repeat it and repeat it to myself. O the fun of lying to ourselves.