Friday, December 24, 2010

Winter Wonderland

Well I think most will agree with me that the holidays are so much sweeter when you have a special someone to share it with.  Im still seeing drummer boy and I have to say, things are going quite well.  Sometimes I even feel as if Im living through scenes of some of my favorite movies.  It quite nice.
photo courtesy of LIFE magazine
I've always felt that when you start dating someone and in some relationships, one person is always more 'into it' than the other.  One always feels a little bit (or a lot) stronger about the relationship.  This is totally true by the way, I can present several cases of friends and my own relationships that will attest to this.  Its been a while since I've been in a long term relationship but I would assume that these feelings level off at some point so that both people meet in the 'middle.'  I would hope so.  When i first started seeing drummer boy, I felt like we were on the same level and was stoked!  Gradually I started to feel like his interest was peaking a bit more than mine.  Which is great!  I mean come on, it's pretty nice to have the upper hand!  However, Im realizing this is a pretty amazing guy and I want us to be on the same level.  Im getting there, slowly letting go of some of my hangups.  But will we ever be on the same page?  I have to say, I think he might have sealed the deal for me with this KILLER mix tape he made me as part of my Christmas gift.  I could tell he put so much thought into it and it put a huge smile on my face.  I don't know how else to explain it, but something definitely changed for me in the last 24 hours.
So I guess you could say we're slowly meeting each other at that level.  As always, time will tell.

My next dilemma is how to handle the 'we met on a dating site' issue.  I mean, at my age people aren't necessarily having the 'will you be my girlfriend' conversation.  I think its more something that is just kind of assumed after a certain amount of time.  But i know talking to several of my girlfriends, we all feel some sort of conversation or agreement on exclusivity should be had.  I think this usually happens around the 2-3 month point, depending on how much time you have been spending together.  We women start to wonder if our man is talking to other girls, and one of the silliest but quite legit questions; How do I refer to him?  Is he my man, man friend, lover, guy Im dating, friend, or is he my boyfriend?  Hilarious, I know!  But any girl out there reading this will agree its a question that will run through our mind until its clarified.  Online dating makes this even more complicated.  Because the whole time you are dating, you both know that the both of your are on a dating site which is a Starbucks of single men and women.  You have access to all these people online 24-7.  You can be as picky as you want because there are so many choices.  Tall, grandé, extra sugar, dark, decaf, extra shot, bold brew, no whip.  The possibilities are endless!  Therefore I feel that especially when its a case where you met online; it needs to be established that neither of you are using the service anymore.  I realize this doesn't mean that either person isn't out at a bar chatting it up with some stranger.  But it certainly narrows the playing field.  In my case, Im not pushing for this conversation any time soon.  But I feel like it may be soon approaching.

Hope all you lovers out there get your new years kiss!  And a special shout out to one of our readers and a good friend, Stephanie.  Congratulations on your engagement!  Very happy for you both!

Saturday, November 27, 2010


There is just something about musicians right?  Why are they always super sexy?  And let me just say its pretty rare to fine a super sexy, super cool, musician that has his life together.  WINNER!
Well I just had date #2 last night with Drummer Boy.  Any guesses?  I know, sometimes i just go with the obvious for these nicknames.  Our first date was pretty nice.  A fellow fan of downtown he suggested Pete's Cafe.  A delight!  To be honest it was a bit tough at first.  He seemed quite nervous and like he hadn't done this in a while.  I wondered if he would be ready to leave after our first round of drinks.  On the contrary, we ended up staying there for almost 3 hours!
The first date goodbye is so awkward.  There is always a hug unless the date goes horribly wrong and you are dashing out the door to escape.  But typically there you both are, saying your goodbye, and wondering if you should go in for the kill, will he?  Palms sweat, butterfly stomach, nervous twitch and THEN!.... it happens, like magic.  I do love magic.  You both lean in at the same time and its perfection... well almost perfection.
Date 2 was even better.  And thats all I'm going to say about that :)

Monday, November 22, 2010

Warning: Twitter is Taking Over Your Dating Life

I was super stoked to finally me Cheeky.  We had exchanged some lovely emails and had a decent phone conversation.  However, our date happen to fall on a week that my life was turned upside down at work.  I was exhausted at the end of the day.  Although excited to meet him, I was pooped.  My mistake was deciding to send out a tweet telling the Twitter world just how i felt.  Oh yes, I tweet.  Occasionally, but I've been more active the last month or so.  I figure Facebook doesn't want to hear what Im doing all the time.  But Twitter.. thats what its made for!
Mid date we got into a discussion about Facebook, Twitter, etc.  After Cheeky confessed his slight obsession with the site, I admitted I too indulged in the site occasionally.  BIG MISTAKE.  As he pulled out his phone to 'follow' me, I got a flash of my latest tweet.  "Totally not in the mood for a first date right now.  Im exhausted and would much rather go home and sleep."  Panicked, I realized there was no going back.  He was in and was going to see it.  I giggled with embarrassment and explained what he was about to see.  And made sure he knew that I was having a fabulous time and was happy I came.  He laughed and seem to take it well.  We were a few drinks in by now.
Well Twitter ended up backfiring.  Its bad enough trying to get a guy to actually call you on the phone and not just text or email.  And I'll give Cheeky credit, he did call to set up the date.  However, basically all of our communication after the date was on Twitter.  Really?  This is what the world has come to?  So sad that I am even writing about this right now.  Anyway, the night was full of laughs.  But the only action I got after that was a couple tweets @cheeese.  I guess you never know.  I had a really great time, but couldn't compete with the Twitterverse!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Are You Wearing... Transition Lens's?

Alright kids, here we go, my first date back in the game.  I had several lovely emails with The Italian Heart and was really looking forward to our first date.  Sadly this guy indulged in one of my pet peeves... not planning the date that you asked me on.  Sorry guys, but you asked the lady out, you should have something planned.  Especially on a first date.  Im the kind of gal that likes a guy to take initiative!  But I digress.  I suggested the Day of the Dead festival for our afternoon date being that is was Halloween weekend.
Bad choice.
I had never been and had no idea how crazy it was going to be.  It was worse than Disneyland, we could barely walk.  However all I could focus on was what appeared to be transition lens glasses on his face.  The sun was setting so the glasses couldn't figure out if they wanted to be light or dark.  You know who wears those?  My dad.  You know who shouldn't wear those, my date.
Conversation was good.  However there was something missing.  There was no draw.  We had talked about getting together again which I was unsure about but went along with.  Might give him another try, considering the date location was so awful.  But the next day I was sure that a second try was unnecessary.  After all, I was paying for a dating service, I think I get to be as picky as I want.  Unfortunately I had bought a mirror for my sister that night and left it in his car.  I debated sucking it up through a second date to get the mirror back.  But, it was only $25 and quite frankly I'd rather not waste either of our time.
Lesson learned: Dont plan first dates in crowded areas.  Also, people can be better or worse in person compared to their photos.  Just keep this in mind.  Thats all!

Monday, November 1, 2010

On a different note...

...VOTE! It's voting day and this midterm election is sure to be a historic one. Left wing, right wing - loose wing, tight wing. Because if nothing else Dr. Seuss has taught us to rhyme and let our voices be heard! So hooray to you, voter, take that mandated time off to vote and connect some ballot lines!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Sleepless in Seattle...

...or in my parent's house.

Okay so the last few weeks I have been having creepy recurring dreams, all of which involve one or more of the men mentioned in this blog. Example 1: Nomad is running through the airport looking for someone, and I'm running after him yelling for him not to go to Africa. I never see his face but, because it's a dream and we are all-knowing beings in our own dreams, I know it's him. He gets to the gate and I think he's going to get on, so I reach to grab his ankle but then I eat it and fall on my face. He runs onto the plane. The stewardess comes up and tells me to leave. So I'm walking away, dejected, and who taps me on the shoulder.... o ya.... you know it - Nomad. And he says, I thought you were on the plane I had to stop you.

Funnily enough this occurred the day BEFORE Thousand Oaks' native son Steve Slater slided it off the Jet Blue Airplane with a beer in hand, giving the middle finger to all involved, no longer allowing himself to be called a steward or flight attendant. Not sure what I am referring to?
There, don't say I never did anything for you.

Example 2: Only last night, this tasty dream drops in on me - I'm sitting in my old classroom with a horrible professor bla bla bla'ing and there's a knock at the door. Only I hear it and turn around, and who who whoooo is it (owl shout out for my peeps! Get it? Peeps? No? Fine). why it's Superhero Gangster, motioning for me to come out. I'm shocked to see him because he's currently two states away (I'm sad still yes) but of course I shuffle out. He just says "Hey I needed to come down so I wanted to say hi!" So he takes me to get food and then he has to leave. He gives me a hug and a kiss. He drops me back off at school and, guess what, I start booking it after the car, like a woman possessed or an antelope. I'm not sure which.

Common theme - I am RUNNING after these guys in both instances. O man, even my subconscious is in trouble.

Here's to better rest and not remembering every detail of my damn dreams.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Return of the Jedi

O hello there! It's a pleasure to be back. O wait... no it's not, because back to the blog means back to the single life. Superhero Gangster left about a month ago. He moved two states away for a new job, and didn't want to do long distance. I don't blame him. At this stage in our lives, we want to spend time with the person we're dating. Maybe once you're engaged or married you can deal with it for a while, but we dated for 6, blissful, non-dramatic months and I wound never change one thing about it. Except, him moving.

In any case, I have been dealing with the disappointment fairly normally, for me at least - I'm trying to stay busy and talk to him just once a week, text little more than that. It's hard. When you feel like you found someone who meshes so well with you, it's a bitch. And it will be for a while.

If you believe in any karmic intervention, send me some positive vibes, hopeful vibes, not so single vibes. Thank you in advance my little ones.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

So, Do You Have a Boyfriend?

A couple weeks ago i found myself at a friends birthday party faced with this very question.  It was one of those parties where no one really knew each other except for the person whose birthday we were celebrating.  So we all went through the typical meet and greet chatting; What do you do?  Where do you live?  How do you know so and so?  In addition the party's attendants were all couples.  I found myself in a situation many single gals fear and try to stay away from.  After countless phone calls and text to several friends trying to get someone, anyone to accompany me to this party.  I still found myself there alone and suddenly faced with the question, Do you have a boyfriend?
It was odd really.  I didn't know how to react.  I mean really its a simple yes or no question.  But when presented with it, I felt the need to explain to this girl why in fact, I was single.  It started off fine, I said no, Im here by myself.  I then however went on telling her how, I like being single, and i've always been an independent person, and God knows what else...trying to defend my singlehood.  What the hell is wrong with me?
I got out of there shortly after.  But it got me thinking.  The older I get, the more 'sticky single situations' I seem to face.  Other single gals out there know exactly what im talking about. One of them is the very story I've just told.  Being the odd one out at a party full of couples.  Or how about weddings, holiday parties, and the worst one of all, Valentine's day.  I myself will be dealing with a wedding, minus the plus one next month.  I was a little annoyed at first.  I am after all driving to northern California to attend this wedding.  The least you can do is let me bring a date.  But I think in cases like this we have to remember, its really not about us, and our sad single life.  The bride and groom are just trying to save a few bucks.  Knowing they are keeping the wedding small, I cant be too upset.  However, it will be yet another situation where, because its a coworker, i will know about a handful of people in the room, and probably be forced to have this conversation again, fun.  At least I'll be prepared this time and keep it short and sweet.
These situations suck.  But whenever Im faced with them, if I must be faced with them.  I try and remind myself of all the perks of being single!  Saving money, actually having time for the gym, free reign over the TV, girl time, a clean bathroom, and being able to pretty much do whatever I want :)

Sunday, June 13, 2010

He Can Talk the Talk

Why does this keep happening to me?  He can talk the talk, but doesn't walk the walk, so to speak.  The guys I am talking to these days have all the right things to say.  Which is great!  They are wonderful amazing things that give me that butterfly in my stomach.  But where is the follow through?  Where are the moves?  Where are you?  And what is the point?  I mean sure, it puts a smile on my face and makes me feel good, but...make the plans!  And don't flake!  And side note, I don't care who you are, best friend, coworker, boyfriend, girlfriend, flaking is the worst and is just plain rude.  Once in a while, I understand but lets not make a hobby out of it.
Status update!  I am still wearing the crown on this blog for awkward date moments.  First date, wasn't sure it was a date, but it was, which is fine.  After I saved our movie 'date' with my iPhone, I was dropping Iowa home.  That's right, he didn't have a car.  I know, I pick the winners.  Here comes the award for Most Awkward Goodbye.  He leans in, I of course assume for a hug.  The kiss lands on my cheek, but slightly underneath my eye, kind of on the side of my nose.  I felt so bad I didnt see it coming.  The after date text read:  I blame it on the glasses.  I'd like to thank my glasses, for making that line possible, without which I would not be receiving this award.  Thanks Iowa, one for the story book!

Monday, June 7, 2010

Every Single Gal Should Go!

Even the ones who aren't single. Its pretty cheese but still fabulous!

Eenie Meenie

i dont care. i love bieber. And the song... sometimes its me...

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Location Report: Venice

We all know i love a good bearded man. There is no short supply of these hairy cuties in Venice. But I warn you BEWARE!

Venice Beach: Cute guys, that are douchebags.

Oh, and your first clue should be when he says he lives a couple blocks away. Because they ALL do.

Answer me this. When was the line "how protective are you of your pussy" working for you? Or how about "have you ever had a guy lick your butthole?" Que? Was that getting you action before? Doubt it. Stay away from the Brig!

The Other Room is pretty chill. I usually go during the week. But Saturday night... no. No. These guys are hot and they know it. They know it very well. LA bar scene just sucks lately.

Venice is great for some eye candy, but dont expect to meet a genuinely nice guy..just saying.

Why Bother?

Hello readers! Apologies for lack of blogging lately. Unlike paiting pimp, I have not been absent because of a relationship. I just fell off the dating wagon for a while...
What is the deal with guys texting you, maybe asking you something, maybe just saying whats up. We respond and then... nothing. What? Why the hell are you even texting me?
Oh, and how about this one. Here is the text message convo:
Him: Hey how have you been? When are we hanging out again?
You: Pretty good... umm whenever, lets hang out
Him: OK, well let me know when you are free and we'll do something

...What?? What was the point of that? Are you asking me to hang out? Then effing ask me to hang out!! Yes, Im talking about 5-0. Lamesauce
Grab your sack, and waggle it.

And we're back!

I apologize for my absence. As this is a dating blog, I haven't had much to discuss. I've been dating Superhero Gangster since January, and it's been fantastic. No drama, no hassles, nothing. He makes me laugh and smile constantly, and I have been content.

Not to say that there's nothing going on in the single world. I've been attempting to play matchmaker for several people. It's been a bit rocky. I'm not God damn Patty Stanger after all. Maybe if I keep hanging out with all the Jewish teachers I work with I'll pick up some more skills. I did have one success with Nomad. You know who you are little teacher. I will be dancing at that wedding.

One of my friends from long ago and far away emailed me the other day. She will be called... uh... o damn it I've lost my touch for nick names... let's go with Canada. Ya that's not bad, Canada it is. So Canada asked me a question I wasn't prepared for. Something along the lines of "You're always in a relationship or dating or something... why?" or "What's your secret?" I literally have no idea. I'm serial dater. I'm more comfortable when I'm in a relationship than when I'm not, and when I get out of a relationship I like to date because it helps me to get over the relationship, and that invariably leads to another relationship. And the cycle continues. I didn't want to give advice, so I just told her to allow herself to meet to people, open herself up to possibilities, and realize that when you write off people too quickly, you can miss out on a great relationship, even if it ends in friendship and not looooove.

Date on my friends!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Green Dating, Part 2

After much rescheduling, 5-O and I finally met up for a little reunion. Something I call, tales of first dates, part deux.
I think we were both a bit nervous. It did feel, odd. But after a couple bottles of sake, we were good to go. Overall it was nice. But i felt like I could take it or leave it. There definitely wasnt the same spark or excitement there was with round 1.
We will both be 'celebrating' our 'anniversary' in Vegas in a few weeks. Not sure how that's going to go. Dont really care. Ill be with my girlfriends and a ridiculous ratio of men to women, all cops of course.
Should be a good story.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Its a Recession, Why Not Recycle?

Man it feels good to have the upper hand! Im not sure what came over me, but 5-0 and I have been talking, and he is quite excited about that. Its rather entertaining. Asked me to dinner right off the bat! This should be good. Lets just hope no feelings come over me when I see him, otherwise I am so out of there.

I say, put the past in the past, and have fun! Im a 23 year old woman, time to live it up! Love it!

In more recycling news, Comic Book Guy invited me to some fundraiser on Sunday. After contemplation I decided to go and he totally bailed. Never heard back. He always does this. Such lamesauce considering he has made quite the effort to hang out with me.

Stay tuned!

Friday, February 26, 2010

Shit or Get Off the Pot

I was excited once Zen decided to ask me on a date. Our emails had been long and full of interesting, philosophical banter. I knew this was going to be good.

Not so much. This was actually the date that almost never happened. First, enough email, I gave you my number 4 days ago, you have a phone? Use it. Second, its Thursday afternoon, lets decide when and where we are meeting this weekend. No? Ok, its Friday evening, we've nailed it down to Sunday. Granted I didnt have alternative plans flowing in that weekend, but still, he doesn't know that. And a girl likes to put something on the books. Saturday afternoon, I wonder what time and still where we will meet, still no use of the phone number and I dont have yours. Shit or get off the pot man! Finally, late Saturday afternoon a text to confirm. Of course at this point I was so annoyed I had already contemplated making an excuse, "I never heard back from you so I made other plans." Or something of that nature.

We met in a shitty dive bar for senior citizens in Santa Monica. For all I know Speakeasy Cocktail could be going off on a Thursday or Friday night, but definitely not Sunday evening at 7pm. Things did get better at TRip, where there was live acoustic artists playing. We stayed for the whole show and chatted about philosophy everything. This would have been someone I would want to continue to date, but, it just wasnt there. Sure he handsome, smart, and _______FILL IN THE BLANK. But just no spark. And quite the awkward half mouth kiss at the end of the night.

I realized this week im just not really in the mood to date right now. Maybe its the new job, maybe I just want to focus on me. But interdudes have been turned off and now its up to the universe. Quite frankly I dont want to think about it and I've always felt it best to just let things happen.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Tea for Two

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Phd.

The name is self explanatory. I didnt even realize I had already named him until my co author pointed out that I'd only been calling him Phd. Moving on, this date was in one word, boring. He is quite the tea fan so we met for afternoon tea in lovely Santa Monica. I was late as usual. Now the thing is, the conversation was flowing fine, but the poor guy was nervous as hell. I think some people just need to take a shot before a first date. Tequila, BAM! Nerves gone.

I dont know how to describe the facial expression he was making. It was sort of a nervous twitch with his mouth, or rapid eye movement... i dont know it was just awkward. And I could see the poor guys hand shaking when he picked up his cup :(

And he kept staring at my chest when i sat down, mind you I was not wearing any sort of cleavage revealing outfit. Odd, strange. They can seem so normal through a computer screen.

Sadly this date reminded me of how picky I am and of how well Beard and I hit it off. On another note, my crush (who for now i'll still just call 'my crush') managed to get my phone number from a mutual friend and we engaged in some flirtatious texting this week. It was nice.

I assume this is the last we'll here about Phd. so.... NEXT!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Snooze You Lose

Im not sure why I even bother blogging about this guy. But I guess Im due for an update.
"They call me... STASH." No, no, i know what your thinking, but that is not the nickname. This guy required no nickname in my opinion.. because his name is STASH. Yes like moustache, but no, he did not have one.
Here's the thing, I hate people who flake. More than that I hate people that can't even call you to flake, but send a flake email. What the hell man? AND, if you are flaking on a date, you better be on top of the reschedule! And don't act all surprised when when you get denied after waiting too long. Whose time are we wasting? Definitely not mine!

Monday, January 11, 2010

A Year in Review

Things I will keep from 2009:

Giving someone a second, or even third chance isn't always a bad idea. You can be pleasantly surprised by the changes they make, as I was with Nomad. But I still wouldn't recommend it. After all, if someone screws you over three or four times and you go back to them, you're going to be the butt of someone's joke. In fact you may end up on this very blog!

Slow and steady may, actually, win the race. At first, I was not on board with Superhero Gangster's approach to dating. Really? You want to know me as a friend first? Nothing else? And there's no deadline on this? It could last for how many months? Sweet fancy Moses! (If you can name that reference, you get a cookie!). But it turns out that it wasn't bad at all. While Superhero Gangster was doing what he felt he needed to do, I got to hang out with him and just be myself. There was no pressure, just a little awkwardness in the beginning. I flirt with guys I like, after all, so I had to be a bit more conscious of that. But after that was over, it was smooth sailing, and lo and behold! Here he comes seven months later asking me on a date.

Go with your gut. If the guy is creepy once, he'll probably creep all over you again. So don't chance it! Same with aggression and flakiness. Ah lessons learned.... man Minor League II was creepy!

Even if you consider yourself an excellent judge of character, as I do, you can still be deceived. I never knew the demons Benny and the Jets was facing, and what the underlying reasons for his crazy behavior were. Some men just hide it really well.

Some guys are actually really straight forward and tell you exactly what's going on and what they're thinking. Ferrell was this way - he was old enough to know how he should act with a 22-year-old, so it makes sense. I appreciate the qualities so much more after being with him for 5 months. What he told me in the beginning was just what happened in the end. I should have trusted his words more.

Lastly, fuck people who consistently suck. I have no love for that man anymore, he doesn't even deserve a nickname. He has screwed me over so many times and we haven't dated in years and years. Some people are just toxic. Cut them out. Life isn't long enough to deal with them.

No more Nomad

There were many times whilst dating Nomad that I wondered why I was doing this all over again, and maybe you wondered too. Why would I choose to be with someone who had hurt me so much in the past and had been so selfish? I'm sure there are a great number of reasons for this that I'm not considering, but I can think of three biggies: 1. I really continued to care about him; 2. I was somewhat optimistic about what our future could be; and 3. The timing was better this time than it had been in the past.

So I allowed myself to feel for Nomad again, and he absolutely did a 180 - He was caring, attentive, calm, and loving. He knew he had to make up for what he had done, and he did this very well. But every day I had doubts about whether I should trust Nomad again, and if I was as committed to this relationship as he was. I had some slack on this aspect though; why the hell should I try so hard or not be cautious when I had been so deceived over the last two years? So, I kept him at arms length in a lot of ways, and remained upfront with him about my reservations. I didn't want to be his "girlfriend", because I still had feelings for Superhero Gangster and I wasn't sure how long it would take me to forgive Nomad.

It wasn't until two back-to-back events in the last few weeks, however that I felt forced to make a decision. After speaking with my beloved therapist, I realized I hadn't gotten over what Nomad had done, especially his escapades in South America after kissing me, and various other crap. If I couldn't reconcile things like this over the past 5 months of dating, there wasn't much of a chance in me doing so in the future. This was event #1.

#2 occurred only one day later. After playing poker with Superhero Gangster and some of his friends, he made a move. Yep, after 7 months of being friends as per his request and just hanging out with nothing romantic, he wanted to go on a date, and pursue this further. Why did it take him so long and what switched? Well, wouldn't ya know, it happened in the seasonal section of Target, one of the best places on Earth. I said to him, "If I ever meet the girl who screwed you up [and made him decide to stop dating girls for a year] I'm going to punch her in the face. She ruined you for other women." I thought it was fairly innocent as my comments go, but he took it to heart. He explained to me that night after poker that he realized how much this girl was influencing him, negatively, and how it stopped him from dating me for such a long time, along with his desire to be friends first. He also told me how much he liked me, and how he was now afraid that he may have missed the boat.

So what's a girl to do? Two great guys - one with a history that kicks my ass ever day or one with a clean slate? One who is head over heals in love with me or one who knows me just as a friend? I was so terrified of breaking Nomad in half with ending things, and told him just that long ago when he really started opening up to me. But many of my friend told me that I need to be selfish about this. I couldn't just pretend that these doubts didn't exist to pacify Nomad. So ya, i did cut the cord with him, because I had to do it for myself. I had to consider my sanity and see if things with Superhero Gangster would go anywhere. I owed it to myself. And I couldn't be sorrier to do that to Nomad. People mention payback and Karma and act like he deserves it for being such an idiot in the past, but I can't view it that way. When you hurt someone so deeply, you should take it to heart.

I Have a Crush

Truth is, this crush dates back to almost a year ago! I love that true blue crush feeling. Makes me like a giddy school girl.
2010 is looking to be a busy year! Let's hope I can find some time for dating!