Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I Spoke Too Soon

Yup! Sadly my adventures with Beard came to an abrupt end this week. Truth be told, if he hadn't said something now, it would have been me in about a week or so. I suppose the idea of spending New Years with a 'significant other' was pulling me through.
The honest truth is that we didn't seem to 'click' anymore. Don't get me wrong I loved spending time with the guy and he is an amazing person with many qualities I look for in a man, but I guess sometimes, it just isn't there. I can't really explain it, but I wish that something was there. The first few weeks were amazing, beyond amazing, and then.... i don't know, i guess something changed. I don't think I ever really felt comfortable with him, and I was never able to really open up, and be my goofy self. But I guess that takes time. Time that beard apparently didn't have to waste. Sometimes I wonder if its just bad timing. I RARELY find a guy that fits so well into my idea of a 'man friend' and seems to fit well with my ideas, interest, spirituality even, so it's quite sad.
Apparently I wasn't the only one who saw it coming. Friends told me afterwards they noticed a lack of excitement lately. The only bone I have to pick is that the guy could have said something a bit sooner than the night before we had planned to spend the day at Disneyland. Rather rude if you ask me.
Anyway! Hello 2010! Bring on the frogs!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Goodbye 2009!

As 2009 comes to an end, it's important to reflect on the great dating experiences I've been able to share with all the 7 followers of this blog. 2009 began with excitement and hope for finding a little romance to add to life. There were a lot of highs and lows, let's face it, mostly lows. But overall a good year for dating with lots of stories to carry through the years.

Here are some things I learned this year through dating:

- 1 date wont kill you (hopefully). At the very least you get a free meal, or more likely free drinks

- Do NOT have sake bombs on a first date, or drink anything excessively for that matter. You will regret it and feel embarrassed the next day.
- Agree if your good friend suggests a blind double date, but be prepared that they might not have the best judgement when it comes to picking out guys for you.

- What happens in Vegas ALWAYS needs to stay in Vegas, no exceptions

- Always keep a close eye on your drink on a first date. And let your roommate or friend know where you will be and when they should expect you home. In addition, it's always good to have a code word that will signal an emergency phone call from a friend to get you out.

- Even if your mom is dying to meet your new guy, hold off for a few months, don't want to scare them away.

- Always be honest and straightforward. You wouldnt want to be lead on by a guy who doesn't like you, so don't do it to them. Plus it's just good Karma.

- Men do not like being called out on their shit. But you should always do it. If you don't, you will just be more pissed off when it ends.

- If the only time you spend with him is in the bedroom, its not a real relationship. He just wants to bone you and if he was really interested he would take you on an actual date. (Not speaking from personal experience but I have a friend who let this happen over and over and she wonders why she is single)

- If hes not calling you or trying to see you, hes just not that into you. Plain and simple, there are no ways around this, its the truth
- Online dating is very hot and cold. Be prepared to be underwhelmed if you are as picky as me. Although if you are curious, now is the best time to sign up! There are lots of promos and many people are looking for love at the beginning of the year after spending the holidays alone.

- There is such a thing as too many second chances. If it doesn't work, stop going back, he's not going to change, and neither are you

- Take it easy. You may think you have found the most amazing guy in the world, which could be true. But the unexpected could happen so keep cool and put yourself first. This is a hard one but I keep trying! Its tough not to get excited!

- Above all, please repeat the name of your date 10 times before you walk into the bar. There are few things as embarrassing as calling your date by the wrong name 10 minutes in.

This year ends much different than last for me. Finally I wont be working on New Years and a kiss at midnight looks quite promising! I hope all my devout readers out there have a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year! Let's get ready for 2010!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Chivalry is Dead?

I had the conversation with several people yesterday. Does your guy open the car door for you? In my history, it all depends on the guy. I think every guy I have gone out with has been on it with opening the door when we are walking into a building. But lets talk about the car door.

I don't think it needs to be done every time. And I certainly wouldn't say its expected. However, its my feeling that if its on the way, why not? I mean, if you are both walking up the car, passenger side because lets say you parked at a meter, so therefore he is passing your door on the way to get into the drive side, why wouldn't you? I don't get it. Its kind of like flowers. Women love receiving flowers, especially at work where they can be the center of attention. These are simple, no brainer things guys can do that will totally make a woman day.

But getting back to opening car doors. I'm just saying, if its on the way, do it.

You Might Want to Brush Your Teeth

How soon is too soon to leave a toothbrush at your 'crushs' house?

And let me just make a point of saying, the toothbrush does not signify a seriously relationship. It's simply a matter of hygiene. And quite frankly, I don't think its fair that they can freshen up in the morning, and we are stuck with morning breath. No one wants to kiss morning breath, including myself. God forbid you start messing around in the am. Its like a game of trying to avoid open mouth kissing and breathing in each others faces.

I don't think its unreasonable to quickly freshen our breath in the morning. I think all parties involved would be happier.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Out of Africa

So I just have to say this first - if you have never seen the movie "Out of Africa", then you need to go to wherever movies are rented or sold, and buy... or rent it. And bring a box of tissues, because MY GOD LEMON! It is a tearfest.

Now that this has been said, I can get to the point. Nomad is roaming the globe again. Believe me, I was very close to titling this entry "Where in the world is Nomad?" as an homage to the amazing show of my childhood, Where in the World is Carmen San Diego? But I digress... Nomad went to Africa for two weeks, and after taking him to the airport only 5 days ago, I really do miss him. Now I could just jump in and say it's because I love him and can't live without him and la la la la la, but there are other, more realistic factors to consider. #1 - He's in the god damn bush after all, not in NYC. This means no phone calls and very infrequent emails, making the distance seem longer and longer. #2 - I'm used to talking to Nomad at least 5 time a day, for very short periods of time yes but it's still nice. And now, that phone is not ringing half as much as it nomally does, and again just more feelings of being alone. And so I don't seem heartless, let's not forget #3 - I do like him a lot.

So God speed lil Nomad! Don't drink the water, take your malaria pills, and don't forget to get me my Christmas present in Dubai!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Im Sorry. I Can't. Dont Hate me.

I am just not a game player. Never have been. Well maybe back in my days of adolescence.

It so funny to listen to other girlfriends talk about their dating scenarios...

"The balls in his court," "don't make yourself too available, ""Who called who last?"

I mean really. Its so silly to me. Maybe I just don't have the energy to play games. But I think I just feel like.. whats the point? These stupid games we play with those we are dating just make for more stress and complication. I really hate it. I mean to me its like, if I want to call you, I will. If I want to see you on the weekend, I will! And if I want to spend the day alone, running errands, laundry, painting, yoga... then I will! Something is seriously wrong if you are constantly second guessing yourself. Go with the flow!

I think women who play these games are silly. And they sound ridiculous. Sadly, some of them are close friends. But i think if you step back and take a good look. The only one you are playing games with, is yourself.