Sunday, January 18, 2009

Must Be Funny

One of the standard first questions in the dating world is "What do you look for in a man?" While we roll this question around in our heads, trying to dream up a perfect response to this man we've just met, I wonder if any of us ever actually have a good answer. It always keeps changing, after every man we date or grow to hate. The definition expands as our dating lives do. Wouldn't it be great if one day a man asked us that question and we could respond in one word: "you"?

After my dating marathon of a year, I could write a fairly entertaining mini-series on my new and improved definition of a perfect man. It would include: not a stress-case like "Nomad" but just as good looking, not an idiot like "Drunken Dancer", not an indecisive, dramatic 12-year-old girl like "Jimbo Jones", not a douche bag like "Mr. Hollywood", some good looks like "Minor League" without the ego, no "Frenchie's" with their excessive amounts of money, and, at all costs, avoid the boring, yet sweet, "IQ's".

Maybe the new year has given me this new perspective, and a new man. After speaking with "Ferrell" for a few minutes on New Year's Eve, he asked me the famous, aforementioned question. My response was simple, straight-forward, and a direct result of my most recent, failed dating blitz: "He has to be funny." I guess if I had to take out a personal ad, that would be the title, 'must be funny'. He can't take himself too seriously and he has to be able to make me laugh. So far, I'm still happily optimistic about "Ferrell" and myself. I think this is one of the best aspects of a new relationship; the other is the fireworks.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Easy Come, Easy Go

If you can get through the dating without becoming too emotionally invested, you won't care that it ends, period. Unfortunately, that almost never happens, because, as women, we tend to actually care. I recently lucked out. After casually dating a man for over a month when I realized something shocking; he was boring. Just really, very boring. It needed to end; I needed to get out of it before Christmas gifts were exchanged and guilt festered. So, with my best friend in the car, I had to end up ending things with him on the phone, which you never want to do because we bitch when it gets done to us. But, it had to go down. He was getting pissy and I was getting irritated. Rather than simply telling him that he was painfully dull at times, I lied... just a little lie though. I told him what we all say a times, "I can't give you what you need right now." It was true, in a way. He wanted me to be his girlfriend, and not date anyone else. I don't want that. Done. Simple as that. Isn't it an amazing feeling when you end it, on your terms, and it just works out? I think so. Single for another day.

Greek anyone?

So my latest date was with a greek gentlemen i met while out with my good luck charm. I swear, whenever I go out with this particular friend, I always meet a guy.

Moving on... so he was cute. Not typically what I go for good looking enough. We talked for an hour or so until the bar closed. Instead of giving in to his suggestion to come home with me I thought I'd see if he actually wanted to take this any further. Apparently he did because we had a date set for the following week! My only problem was that he was greek and had some very odd name that i forgot the instant that he told me. Somehow I was lucky when he had sent me a photo to show me a new iphone feature and his full name came up. Otherwise I would have been stuck playing the..."how do you spell your name?" game.

Now heres my problem. I know I write people off very quickly so men seriously need to keep me interested. Here's one thing that wont keep me... not taking any control. Listen guys: Im sure there are plenty of women out there that like to wear the pants and make all the decision but i'm not one of them. I want you to tell me where were going, what were doing, and when you will be picking me up. Mr Greek did none of this.

Trying to "give him a chance" as my best gal and oddly enough my mother insisted on, i suggested dinner and a movie. Long story short, he was late, i bought the tickets, but he bought dinner. I found out he'd never been in a serious relationship--at 23 that says something... im not writing him off--but it says something. He also seemed to have no direction, and kinda seemed like an alcoholic. I really wasnt that into it but he was a nice enough guy. I thought if he wanted to go out again i'd give him another chance. I knew I wouldn't have to worry about that after he gave me a half hug and didnt try for the kiss.

Another one bites the dust....