Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I Spoke Too Soon

Yup! Sadly my adventures with Beard came to an abrupt end this week. Truth be told, if he hadn't said something now, it would have been me in about a week or so. I suppose the idea of spending New Years with a 'significant other' was pulling me through.
The honest truth is that we didn't seem to 'click' anymore. Don't get me wrong I loved spending time with the guy and he is an amazing person with many qualities I look for in a man, but I guess sometimes, it just isn't there. I can't really explain it, but I wish that something was there. The first few weeks were amazing, beyond amazing, and then.... i don't know, i guess something changed. I don't think I ever really felt comfortable with him, and I was never able to really open up, and be my goofy self. But I guess that takes time. Time that beard apparently didn't have to waste. Sometimes I wonder if its just bad timing. I RARELY find a guy that fits so well into my idea of a 'man friend' and seems to fit well with my ideas, interest, spirituality even, so it's quite sad.
Apparently I wasn't the only one who saw it coming. Friends told me afterwards they noticed a lack of excitement lately. The only bone I have to pick is that the guy could have said something a bit sooner than the night before we had planned to spend the day at Disneyland. Rather rude if you ask me.
Anyway! Hello 2010! Bring on the frogs!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Goodbye 2009!

As 2009 comes to an end, it's important to reflect on the great dating experiences I've been able to share with all the 7 followers of this blog. 2009 began with excitement and hope for finding a little romance to add to life. There were a lot of highs and lows, let's face it, mostly lows. But overall a good year for dating with lots of stories to carry through the years.

Here are some things I learned this year through dating:

- 1 date wont kill you (hopefully). At the very least you get a free meal, or more likely free drinks

- Do NOT have sake bombs on a first date, or drink anything excessively for that matter. You will regret it and feel embarrassed the next day.
- Agree if your good friend suggests a blind double date, but be prepared that they might not have the best judgement when it comes to picking out guys for you.

- What happens in Vegas ALWAYS needs to stay in Vegas, no exceptions

- Always keep a close eye on your drink on a first date. And let your roommate or friend know where you will be and when they should expect you home. In addition, it's always good to have a code word that will signal an emergency phone call from a friend to get you out.

- Even if your mom is dying to meet your new guy, hold off for a few months, don't want to scare them away.

- Always be honest and straightforward. You wouldnt want to be lead on by a guy who doesn't like you, so don't do it to them. Plus it's just good Karma.

- Men do not like being called out on their shit. But you should always do it. If you don't, you will just be more pissed off when it ends.

- If the only time you spend with him is in the bedroom, its not a real relationship. He just wants to bone you and if he was really interested he would take you on an actual date. (Not speaking from personal experience but I have a friend who let this happen over and over and she wonders why she is single)

- If hes not calling you or trying to see you, hes just not that into you. Plain and simple, there are no ways around this, its the truth
- Online dating is very hot and cold. Be prepared to be underwhelmed if you are as picky as me. Although if you are curious, now is the best time to sign up! There are lots of promos and many people are looking for love at the beginning of the year after spending the holidays alone.

- There is such a thing as too many second chances. If it doesn't work, stop going back, he's not going to change, and neither are you

- Take it easy. You may think you have found the most amazing guy in the world, which could be true. But the unexpected could happen so keep cool and put yourself first. This is a hard one but I keep trying! Its tough not to get excited!

- Above all, please repeat the name of your date 10 times before you walk into the bar. There are few things as embarrassing as calling your date by the wrong name 10 minutes in.

This year ends much different than last for me. Finally I wont be working on New Years and a kiss at midnight looks quite promising! I hope all my devout readers out there have a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year! Let's get ready for 2010!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Chivalry is Dead?

I had the conversation with several people yesterday. Does your guy open the car door for you? In my history, it all depends on the guy. I think every guy I have gone out with has been on it with opening the door when we are walking into a building. But lets talk about the car door.

I don't think it needs to be done every time. And I certainly wouldn't say its expected. However, its my feeling that if its on the way, why not? I mean, if you are both walking up the car, passenger side because lets say you parked at a meter, so therefore he is passing your door on the way to get into the drive side, why wouldn't you? I don't get it. Its kind of like flowers. Women love receiving flowers, especially at work where they can be the center of attention. These are simple, no brainer things guys can do that will totally make a woman day.

But getting back to opening car doors. I'm just saying, if its on the way, do it.

You Might Want to Brush Your Teeth

How soon is too soon to leave a toothbrush at your 'crushs' house?

And let me just make a point of saying, the toothbrush does not signify a seriously relationship. It's simply a matter of hygiene. And quite frankly, I don't think its fair that they can freshen up in the morning, and we are stuck with morning breath. No one wants to kiss morning breath, including myself. God forbid you start messing around in the am. Its like a game of trying to avoid open mouth kissing and breathing in each others faces.

I don't think its unreasonable to quickly freshen our breath in the morning. I think all parties involved would be happier.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Out of Africa

So I just have to say this first - if you have never seen the movie "Out of Africa", then you need to go to wherever movies are rented or sold, and buy... or rent it. And bring a box of tissues, because MY GOD LEMON! It is a tearfest.

Now that this has been said, I can get to the point. Nomad is roaming the globe again. Believe me, I was very close to titling this entry "Where in the world is Nomad?" as an homage to the amazing show of my childhood, Where in the World is Carmen San Diego? But I digress... Nomad went to Africa for two weeks, and after taking him to the airport only 5 days ago, I really do miss him. Now I could just jump in and say it's because I love him and can't live without him and la la la la la, but there are other, more realistic factors to consider. #1 - He's in the god damn bush after all, not in NYC. This means no phone calls and very infrequent emails, making the distance seem longer and longer. #2 - I'm used to talking to Nomad at least 5 time a day, for very short periods of time yes but it's still nice. And now, that phone is not ringing half as much as it nomally does, and again just more feelings of being alone. And so I don't seem heartless, let's not forget #3 - I do like him a lot.

So God speed lil Nomad! Don't drink the water, take your malaria pills, and don't forget to get me my Christmas present in Dubai!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Im Sorry. I Can't. Dont Hate me.

I am just not a game player. Never have been. Well maybe back in my days of adolescence.

It so funny to listen to other girlfriends talk about their dating scenarios...

"The balls in his court," "don't make yourself too available, ""Who called who last?"

I mean really. Its so silly to me. Maybe I just don't have the energy to play games. But I think I just feel like.. whats the point? These stupid games we play with those we are dating just make for more stress and complication. I really hate it. I mean to me its like, if I want to call you, I will. If I want to see you on the weekend, I will! And if I want to spend the day alone, running errands, laundry, painting, yoga... then I will! Something is seriously wrong if you are constantly second guessing yourself. Go with the flow!

I think women who play these games are silly. And they sound ridiculous. Sadly, some of them are close friends. But i think if you step back and take a good look. The only one you are playing games with, is yourself.

Monday, November 30, 2009

All quiet on the western coast

So all is well with Nomad. And ya... I'm shocked too. There have been moments of amazing, and moments of not. Most of the time I'm happily surprised with him and how he is treating me - like he's in love. And when it's bad, it's usually because I remember what he's done to me before, and get angry at myself for letting him back into my life over and over again. Then, I feel the need to drag him through the mud with me. And I do.

So, when it's good it's good. When it's bad it's the past.

So maybe I should move out of the past... but that's usually when it comes back to bite you...

We're in a little bit of a pickle Dick.

Too Much of a Good Thing?

I love the first few dates when you really like someone. You know you clicked with that person so well and for a brief moment, they shit storm around you seems to settle, and nothing can take the smile off your face. But
I mean how quickly does that go away? How long is it supposed to last? Am I already over it after one week?

totally kidding, but Beard apparently has mad skills at blog finding and discovered my venue for wild and crazy dating stories, and there is a high possibility he's reading this now.. which is why I needed to mess with him a bit! ;)
Three days in a row together and were not sick of each other, that's a good sign, right? I mean, I think if you are keeping a mental list of all the things you want to do together, the outlook is good! New Years kiss? :)

Monday, November 23, 2009

In One Word: Perfect

Well first date time rolled around once again this weekend. After talking to, Beard, I had a feeling our date would be amazing. We both love art and music, and he didn't waste any time asking me out. Further more, I was impressed with the fact that despite only living in LA for a few months, he had an awesome date planned!

Aside from my being a tad late, everything was great. We walked around the miracle mile art walk for a couple of hours, chatting about everything. Then we went to the Pablove foundation concert which was just a delight. Not only was our first date great, it was our first double date. We met my friend and her boyfriend at the concert. There were cocktails, snuggling, and lots of flirting... i could feel the big smooch coming on soon! We were all starving after the concert and decided to hit up Mels! The night ended with the perfect end to a perfect night.. the perfect smooch! Love it!

Can't wait for date #2 with Beard!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Just Say No to Cops

I think I'm just going to say NO the next time a cop wants to take me out. I mean, if the best excuse you can come up with is that you and your friend got into a fight... Good God! That's just pathetic. MOVING ON! New date this week!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

It Was Just... Eh

Well it was once again time for a first date last night. This was another interdude that I had been talking to for a week or so. We'll call him, Legal. After talking to him I still felt unsure if I actually wanted to go out with this guy. But I figured, why not? After an odd conversation that came from nowhere about his likes and dislikes in women and my dealbreakers. He went for the kill and asked me out to drinks.
I only agreed on the 9:30pm meet time because I was able to go into work late the next day. Lord knows that is way past my bedtime under normal circumstances. We met at a quiet, and i mean quiet, bar in West Hollywood. I really have no complaints about the date, there was just no... spark, no chemistry. However he did make a few comments that seemed a little racists toward asians.. it was weird. I cant explain it but it just rubbed me the wrong way. And his hands seemed tiny. Quite dainty in fact. Dainty hands on a man are no good. I have quite small hands but its ok, cause I embrace it, and I'm a woman. Tiny man hands.. not good.
That's all. At least I got his name right. Stay tuned for another first date story over the weekend!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

And your name is...??

So, first date I have been on in months. He is the first interdude that has crossed my path that i have been interested in a while. So, Johnny Angel and I decide to meet for drinks. I was pretty excited. He was cute, had a good job, and seemed to have a great sense of humor.

Unfortunately literally right after we sat down with our first round of drinks...


yup. I'm an idiot. I apologized profusely and explained that i had no idea where it came from and how embarrassed i was. He seemed to laugh it off but it was buzzing in my head for the rest of the date.

Other than my diarrhea of the mouth, the date seemed to go well. Aside from the inevitable, me: fire, them: water, we have a lot in common. I think i like this guys so hopefully he can get past my folly and call me for a second date... ugh.. fingers crossed.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


So get this. You all remember 5-0? Well you can imagine my surprise when I received a text message at 2:30 in the morning last night... from HIM!! What?
And-- he 'jokingly' asks if he could stop by! Are you kidding me right now? How can this guy have no respect for the situation. I mean fine. Lets just say he was trying to reconnect. Do you think its best to contact me at 2:30am and joke about coming over? I DONT THINK SO!!
In the end i just asked.. what do you want? He says he was thinking about me and wanted to say hi, but he realizes it wasn't the best time..... ya think??
What is it? I mean, they always come crawling back. The question is: Is 5-0 trying to get back into my life or was a just a number he saved in his little black book. Time will tell I suppose.
Stay tuned.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

It is a Small World After All...

Seriously... what are the odds. This guy messages me on match. He is cute, and I look at his profile and see he is a firefighter... not bad, right? We start emailing, chatting about LAFD...

Come to find out he was in the same academy class as my dear brother. Of course I immediately text my brother and his fiance to get the dirt.. and the dirt is..

They like the guy. They both are totally for it. In fact. My brother fiance even wanted to set us up back in the day when they were in the academy. CRAZY.

So we'll see, this guy definitly has his shit together but seems to be a lil shy... stay tuned

Thursday, September 3, 2009

That last of its species

So... this is how it feels to be caught between a rock and a hard place. And guess what, because I'm such a fan of metaphors, i'll expand on this.

The rock, without a doubt, is Superhero Gangster. He is solid (as a rock) and if I could build the perfect guy for me in my head, he would come very close to that. I absolutely think he and I could go the distance. There's one problem though, he doesn't want a girlfriend. So... that's kind of a big deal actually. And, I can't seduce him with my awesome make-out skills because he's such a damn gentleman that he won't do anything physical with me because he doesn't want to date anyone right now. Hmmm... so true gentleman still exist. I thought they were extinct. Maybe he's the last of his species.

So, as I'm sure you're all asking, who is the hard place. Oh, it's none other than Nomad. That kid has been back for a month and he's already so into me that it's ALMOST surprising. He's so hungry for a relationship it's fairly terrifying. And I can't, in all good consciousness, be his girlfriend. There are many reasons, and a t the top of them is the aforementioned rock. I'm not used to having one foot in the pool and one out. When I do something I do it whole-heartedly. I'm not in this with Nomad with my whole heart, and I have told him that I have massive doubts about us. That's why I have squashed him calling me his girlfriend. It ain't going that way unless I say it does. He is no longer in charge of my happiness.

This should be a shit-fest in no time, so stay tuned.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Quite Frankly, Im not in the Mood!

Sadly, I have to admit. I think im done with Solid Gold. I just dont get excited. And, really, I dont think he is either. I think it was a good idea.. but we just didnt click that way.

I dont know if it's cause of all the craziness at my job or what. But I am just not in the mood to date. The idea makes me want to take a nap. Match is a bust... there is like no one on there.
Why do I bother....

In other news, they have began filming the sex and the city sequel and I am STOKED!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

What is it with the Jasons

Well first off, after the last disaster I determined every guy named Jason is an a-hole. I've dated 2, theres Jason from the bachelor- major a hole, and I have confirmed with a few friends that they have experienced the same thing!

So WHY is it I ask you that I meet another one yet again? This is really breaking the rules since we never use first names.. but whatever. We'll see how this one goes. He seems to have the Jason qualities- very good looking with a gut feeling he'll break your heart.

Stay tuned... im off to date #2 with solid gold. Still deciding about that one...

Friday, August 21, 2009

Ladies and Gentlemen, I Give you... Solid Gold

Solid Gold is his name. Not making plans is his game! OK, really, I know. Its a bit too soon to start complaining about this one.

The story is, we went to the same high school, but never really knew each other well. Fast forward to summer 2009, he befriends me on facebook. A few random emails are exchanged, and finally, the number exchange. Then came the random texts. The whole time I think, ya, I think he might be into me. I think a month or so went by before he finally asked to meet for drinks.

It was a lovely 'date.' We chatted about old high school days and how ridiculous LA is. There weren't huge sparks but he seemed like a genuinely nice guy. As the night ended we hugged and both commented on the lovely evening. "Lets do it again!" he says. Well. Weekend is here, my plans are made.. but not with you Solid Gold. I don't know if this guy is just slow with the whole process or changed his mind. But if that's the case, there is no need to tell our mutual friend what a great time you had and that you want to see me again. No need for lies at all.

On another note. I fell into peer pressure and am back online. Lets see how this goes....

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The worst thing that could ever happen happened...

…I went on a semi-blind date and I like him.

Introducing the new, the slightly awkward, Superhero Gangster. Now I must make a bit of a confession- I did not make up that nickname. This is the first time I haven’t been responsible for an original nickname, but it’s a ridiculous one so I’m okay with it. Thanks for the gem JMu.

So the story behind our meeting is a bit of a complicated one, so I will not bore all of my loyal readers, all two of you. In summary, it was a half set-up, half blind date, half disaster… or some such thing. He was great, but the circumstances were a bit odd. Nevertheless, he is the holy grail of dating – he’s tall, handsome, British, sweet, funny, smart, and we have a lot in common.

So what’s the problem? O nothing; just the guy in another continent who has ridiculously high expectations for us when he returns home… here…in a month. Siiiiigh…. Ya that guy who has been emailing me almost daily, and I’ve been doing just the same to him, and getting giddy when I get a call from a 14-digit phone number in the middle of Africa. O man…. Well all I can say is I have to let it ride. I was nervous about how to handle Ferrell and Nomad crashing into one another, and look! It worked out, it was a depressing way to have it work out but nevertheless.

And let me just say this – I feel like if you never put yourself out there, you won’t get hurt but you will never know the excitement of like and love and fireworks. I’d rather get burned by the fireworks than never know what that feeling is like.

Oh and date #2 with Superhero Gangster is tonight. Stay tuned.

So much to say because so much has happened in so little time

A lot has happened in the last month. Here’s a quick run-down: Ferrell is gone, literally. He is all over the country with work, spending less and less time in LA, and, thus, even less time with me. Apparently, I’m one of his “favorite and most respected people” he’s ever met. I guess I could chalk all of this up to bad timing – if we were in a different place at a different time, it could have worked. Actually, we would have literally had to have been in the SAME place at the SAME time. So, it didn’t work and I’m not happy about it. After five months, I acquired a lot of feelings for him and a number of (obviously) unrealistic expectations. So ya, I was upset and I still am. It sucks; whenever something ends, it sucks.

Moving on before I cry over the subject (which I haven’t done yet… quite amazing). Nomad is still AWOL, in Madagascar or the Bermuda Triangle or somewhere like that. I have been thinking more and more and probably too much about what could, should, and will happen when he returns. I know he thinks it’s not easy on his end, traveling around the beautiful places in the world without any desirable women in reach. But guess what, it’s hard here too. I have to go through work, school, and the rest while wrestling with the decision of whether I should hold out for a chance of happiness with Nomad or continue to see what is out there.

So, cough cough, maybe I’m doing a wee little bit of both.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Part 2 of Men are Predictable

I would just like to add to my point of calling a man out sends them running. A while ago I went out with Trainer I think we called him. I didnt see him again, partially because i let myself become a drunken mess (so was he) and I was rather embarrassed. But also because I had a good feeling this guy was just looking for the casual... as many men you find on are.

He started texting again wanting to hang out. He was fun and I kinda wanted to see him again. But a text suggesting he come over at 11pm on a Tuesday confirmed my suspicions.
So, not really caring, I decided to test my theory again. I sent him a text saying "listen, im sorry if you got the wrong impression. But I think you are just wanting something casual, and well.. Im not."
And that was all folks!
love it.

Monday, June 8, 2009

I've Said it Once, and I'll say it again!


Call a man out on something and he goes running! I dont know where LA guys, or guys in general get off thinking that women are just going to keep their mouths shut and not speak up. Well I'm sorry (not really) but I am the kind of girl that says what she thinks.

Last week, post 'cell phone loss' Beefy was still texting me but something seemed different. He just didnt seem as enthusiastic. And when he would text me, he never tried to make plans to see me. Well this is what I say: If hes not asking you out, hes not that into you. You may have heard something similar at a recent movie.

So anyway, I was getting rather annoyed that he was keeping me on the side. No doubt waiting to see if something else worked out. So being that I had nothing to lose since I never met the guy... I called him out on that shit!!

I sent him a friendly but to the point text asking if we were ever going to meet because I'm not a sideline gal, I like to get in the game. And guess what...NO RESPONSE!

I have to tell you I wasnt that shocked. I mean really. Guys are so predictable these days.

On that note, I have no new men right now and I'd like to suggest some reading for those sad single gals out there that need to channel their inner single diva....

"How to Love Like a Hot Chick" by Jodi Lipper and Cerina Vincent

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Now there's a blast from the past...

First off, if you haven't seen Steel Magnolias, go to the nearest store where movies are sold or rented and buy it, or rent it. Then, reread the title and use the appropriate southern accent.

Everyone done that? Good, then I shall proceed to my point. So I was walking from one class to another, minding my own business, and I get a text, from Jimbo Jones. You don't know him, nor should you - it was THAT long ago. And here's the thing, we dated for a few months over the summer, but it wasn't serious. He was flaky as all hell-I stopped caring. For several months after it had tapered off, I would get a random text from him now and again, suggesting we hang out. It never happened, and, again, I didn't really care. But, Jimbo Jones had these moments when he would cease being a 25-year-old man and become an overly-dramatic, 13-year-old girl. The last time he touched base was as far back as December. He sent me a Facebook message, saying that he was going to my school for his MBA, and that he had stopped drinking. Uh... I didn't even know he had a drinking problem! That explains a lot...

So, today, he asked me to go catch up with him at dinner, on him. What the...? How do you go six months not talking to someone, at all, and then ask them out, via text? Especially since we weren't all that serious to begin with. My friend says I must just have the mojo.

O, so I said ya, but just as friends. We'll see what he thinks about that ish.

Monday, June 1, 2009

I'm baaaaaaackkkk!!

We all knew i couldnt stay away too long. Well contrary to what i claimed. I have in fact been on some dates and also have a new potential. Before I get to Beefy. Lets recap.

I went out with this guy I met online, we'll call him drunkard. Because thats what i think of, when i think of him. We went out for sushi. The saki bombs were flowing. Needless to say, we both couldnt walk straight after. This was the night I learned never to get drunk on a first date. Thing were broken, knocked over... I ran into my heater. It was bad. Of course he wanted to see me again, but quite frankly I was embarrassed.

After learning that lesson I knew that on my spur of the moment 'double date,' if you want to call it that, i would keep watch on my alcohol consumption. Painting Pimp called me for an impromptu meeting with Ferrel and a friend of his she thought would be a good match for me. Lets call him Ross the intern. Ross was not familiar with my recently learned lesson. he on the other hand drank, and drank, and drank. He carefully planned for me to give him a ride home which included a detour to a bar where he became even more trashed. After that he seemed to actually think I would come upstairs with him. Really? I mean really. I literally said, "you are drunk, and I am not a whore." He swooped in for a kiss and that was the last we saw of each other. Nice choice painting pimp.. not.

So that sums it up. The new guy, beefy. Well hes just that. 6'2, 240...BIG! I love it. Makes me feel small and he can just sweep me off my feet. Unfortunately, when we finally planned our date, beefy failed to all. Didnt respond to any of my texts, I never heard from him! This seemed a bit surprising to me considering how excited he sounded to meet me and hang out. I think he literally ued the words:" I want to be your man" In a semi joking way of course.. i think..?? While I was left wondering, what the hell? I of course made other plans with the ladies. To my surprise, and a bit of relief, I had a message from him on facebook Sunday morning. Apparently he lost his phone and spent the entire day looking for it. OK, totally believe you.. but would it have been that difficult to send me that email on Saturday so I wasnt wondering where the hell you were?? Laaaaammmmeee!!
Not cutting you off yet cause you seem like a good guy, but consider it strike one.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Another Shot

I'm starting to see why there are so many bitches in in LA. Guys can be awful - really terrible. I know what you're thinking men, if any of you even read this blog - just another girl being bitter and dramatic because some guy slighted her. Not so! I am equally offended by the actions of women at times as well. I've said it for years and it still holds true: "Women can be bitches, but men can be assholes." So, with that said, let me have my rant please. Hold your comments till the end.

My best friend, Ubetcha, was stood up today, on a first date. Ridiculous. Unless something bad happened, he's an ass. To all you men (the 3 of you who read this), don't give women a reason to hate you. We talk, a lot, and your reputation will be drop kicked so fast no one will want to date you. Just sayin'...

Also, I feel like with guys, I always have to be the bigger person. I have to be the one to keep my mouth shut and accept the apologies when they come too late. I have to make stupid decisions about whether or not to give a guy a second chance. Can't you just not eff it up in the first place? Is it really that hard?

Here's today's example: Look who's back kids! Benny and the Jets! Oh ya - a blast from the past. After his incredibly odd way of ending things between us, there was over a month of no communication. As far as I was concerned it was over and he had turned his own issues into something I had done - I may have felt beaten up about that 2 years ago, but not anymore. I have far more confidence in my abilities when it comes to relationships now. We ended up talking when our Wheel of Fortune episode was about to air earlier this month. We were on camera for literally less than a second, but I'm still a superstar. Soon after, he apologized. He acknowledged the fact that his decision to end things was entirely on him, that I had been nothing but nice and straight forward and did not deserve the shitty way in which he chose to end things, and he disclosed some of the real reasons he backed off. Fine. Acceptable. Moving on.

Now I get to the point. Tonight was girl's night. I called Benny and the Jets to see if he could pull some strings to get us into the club he works at. We went after enjoying the roof at Kress and it was genuinely nice to see him. I had missed his smile and sweet demeanor. After I arrived back at home, I called to thank him and tell him that we had a lovely time. Everything was fine until he abruptly said "I need to talk to you tomorrow." "Why? Are you okay?" "I've just had it with you right now." Uhh... what? Really? What the hell is going on?

I sent him a text basically asking him the aforementioned questions. His response:
BATJ: "...hard for me to express myself sometimes and I say stupid things..."
ME: So what did you want to say?
BATJ: "I want another shot."

Just a footnote here, that is not the way to go about wooing a girl back for a second try. Come on men! Give me a break! I honestly have no idea anymore.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Humility is a Tricky Business

"Ugh" sums it up. Ferrell, if you're reading this, for the love of God I beg you stop. I'm gonna vomit. Maybe I should not have let the blog slide out of my mouth during a double sate with Ubetcha, Ferrell, and his friend, but it was a relevant addition to whatever conversation we were having. Nevertheless, I'm still feeling the panic.

But enough of that! I had an interesting conversation with a good friend of mine the other day. We were discussing our current dating situations, and my new expectations. And then he said something rather brilliant, and I will paraphrase it using the words from the Tough Love guy on VH1 - "It's okay to make exceptions for exceptional men". I mulled this over, and I agree, to an extent. I will compromise my comfort level when I really like someone, but my convictions are a different story, because in my opinion no one is special enough to make me drink or question the other values I hold especially high. And I wonder what the other singles out there would have to say about this...

Monday, May 4, 2009

What kind of jacked-up fairy tale is this?

If you’ve been keeping track, Nomad is gone. He is on another continent, and might as well be in another world. Last week, I was surprised to find a Facebook message from him. Long story short, he misses me. Can’t say I’m surprise, as he is surrounded by nuns and not getting any action… and hell I’m cute! Why the hell wouldn’t he miss me; but I digress…

After several emails back and forth, I realized that there is really only one question I need to ask him. What do you expect from me, now and when you come back home? If this was a fairy tale, here’s how it would go (I’m not making much of this up by the way, just using exaggeration to make it extra fun): the brave traveler leaves his charming love at home to save Africa one family at a time. He puts oceans between them, as his feeling are too much for him and, while in the quiet solitude of Africa, he realizes that she is the one person he feels he can open up to and be with. He returns home, months later and knocks on her door. She weeps and throws her arms around him, and the camera zooms out on their embrace [fade to black].

But this, my friends, is NOT Love in the Time of Cholera, nor is it Out of Africa, or any other romantic tale. It’s my life – and it’s not nearly as entertaining. I care about him, despite his anxiety, but I have my own issues to deal with. It’s like his life in Africa freezes him in time; his feelings for me and for us won’t change, because there is nothing to change them. It only took him several oceans between us for him to figure out he doesn’t want to be alone. But me? I’m in California dating Ferrells and douches and everything in-between, getting through graduate school and working my ass off. The likelihood of me being in the same place as he is in early August isn’t good. However, I’ll let this tiny part of my life play out in a fairy tale-like manner. I can play the heroine sometimes, but I don’t know if he can be my hero.

He’s actually kind of a douche bag….

I’ve had a guy named Minor League in the past, but this guy really meets the same criteria. Let’s dub him…. Minor League II. I don’t think I could know him by any other name. Let’s break this down: met him at a local bar/club about a month ago. He’s a nice guy; good-looking, funny, athletic… he fits the basic outline of a guy I’d date. But, and there’s always a but, he’s kind of oddly aggressive and, ya, kind of a douche. The aggression freaks me out – I’m a buck 15, this guy can take me, so the more aggressive he acts around me the weirder it gets. I don’t want to become a Lifetime movie here. As for being a douche, here’s an example:

MLII: Hey so what are you doing tonight? Do you maybe want to go out with me and some of my friends?
PP: Ya maybe. I’m in the middle of finals but I may want to take a break.
MLII: Cool, well do you think you could maybe pick us up later?
PP: Uh… what?
MLII: Well we’re already drinking so…
PP: What would you do if I can’t come?
MLII: Take a taxi cab I guess.

Really? I mean come on! I’m not your Dial-A-Ride! That’s strike 2, so he’s almost out.

Ferrell has been my main guy for four months now. I do really want to just be exclusive with him, but I’m going to fight that feeling and not push it with him. He’s not a vocal person when it comes to us, which I’ve mentioned before, and I need to feel it and not hear it. That’s my new mantra, and I’ll repeat it and repeat it and repeat it to myself. O the fun of lying to ourselves.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I've Gotten Rid of All my Men

I have been thinking and talking about this for the last week or so. I need a break from dating. I feel like since the beginning of the year it has been non stop and I just cant handle it. Dating is exhausting. And after 5-0 fucked me over, I just have no energy. I have been talking to a few guys lately and they want to go out. And I said no. I mean I really just need a break. I need me time, and i really need the 'dating detox.' Im done with match, done with eharmony and done with texting. People need to grow some balls and call a person. The next guy I go out with I'll hope to have met the old fashioned way... out somewhere or through a friend. Honestly I dont even want to think about it.

So, this is my farewell for now. Who knows I may be back on Monday writing about some hot catch i found over the weekend. But for now.. I'll leave the stories to painting pimp.

Au Revoir

Monday, April 20, 2009

Im Losing Hope in This Town

Seriously. I am. What is the big problem with communicating. I pride myself in being a person that will answer someone, at least by text. I mean.. i cant even get into this problem fully. Its amazing. Men in LA just are too lazy and way to into themselves to care. Apparently, even the ones that are not originally from here! I have always said I can't do long distance. But unless I move to another state I may have to since everyone out here are idiots!!

Yes, I met Jersey, briefly. It was as me and buddy were about to head home. We stopped at cabo and said hello, met a few of his friends but then had to leave because buddy had a date. I made sure to suggest another meeting this week so he didn't think i wasn't interested. He said ok. I text him when i got home to say sorry i had to leave so quick and that i'd definitely like to hang out this week some time. No Answer.
What the hell.. I swear

Friday, April 17, 2009

Dating Detox, or not?

So. I'm not gonna lie to you guys. I'm putting it out there. I have been pretty down after getting jilted by 5-0. In fact, if i really think about it, i get pretty sad. But moving on. Since feeling this way for the last.. week or so I decided to pull out a book my boss gifted me recently. It had been sitting with a pile of magazines for about 2 months and last night i decided.. why not.

So I opened up 'Be Your Own Matchmaker' by Patti Stanger with nothing more than hopes it would bring me a couple good laughs. However after reading 1/2 way into the first chapter i realized. Hey, this is all true, and maybe what i need right now. Make fun if you will. But Patti's step one of 'dating detox' seemed like exactly what i needed after 5-0 was added to the dusher mcgee list of guys i've come across.

So get this. I'm reading the book about how i need to take 1-3 months off from dating. Patti says the length of time off depends on how long your last relationship was. For me, I only needed 30 days. So im reading and thinking..YES! This is just what i need!

Now we all know the saying "when it rains it pours" and "someone will come along when you stop looking" Well I agree with this but I hadn't realized how quickly the universe makes this happen. Karma... I swear!

Literally, I'm reading the book and I get a text from this fire guy I haven't heard from in months..maybe longer! Yup.. he wanted me to come visit him at the station...and guess what? I did! Nothing happened. I can tell this guy is still in his hit em and quit em stage. But who knows.. hes fun, cute, and wears a uniform.

There's more. Now just when i decided I'm going to ignore my and follow Patti's dating detox instructions... 2 guys...TWO, start chatting me up! One of them we had sent a couple emails back and forth. And he is a little old for me. But he's attractive, successful.. why not. We'll call him Tennis Pro for now. The other one, who has and will always be dubbed, Jersey, self explanatory... was quite a delight. We chatted for a bit, our dry sense of humor seemed to play off of each other and we may meet up at the beach on Sunday.

I tell you.. this always happens... i would stay in dating detox, but quite frankly Patti, I need to get my mind off of dusher mcgee.

Bring it on!!!

Monday, April 13, 2009

And Your Name is??

Apparently all men I come across named Jason are assholes. Ooops. Guess we arent supposed to use real names in this blog. Oh well. Im just sayin.

5-0 turned out to be a dusch. I swear, this guy has him game figured out perfectly. He lures women in, and know that a girl loves being loved. He gives her all the attention in the world, does and says all the right things, and then leaves you. With no real explanation. Try growing some balls and talking for one. Text message? What a cop out. I can't believe after the time spent 5-0 was so heartless he couldnt even provide me with any reasoning, or closure.

This guy obviously has issues. Besides the dating debacle. We had quite the conversation about 'problems' he is dealing with. And someone even got teary eyed--no, it wasnt me. I guess i would just think after opening yourself up to someone like that you would have the decency to call them.
5-0, I really didnt think you to be an asshole. Looks like I was wrong.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

The Beginning of the end?

I have to agree with Painting Pimp that there seems to be some barrier between the communication of men and women. More specifically on the male side. I think of myself as an honest person, who will tell it like it is and not string someone along. I'm not going to tell you I "need a break" or "now just isn't the right time." Because quite frankly. That is just going to give you hope that something is possible in the future. And who needs to waste their time waiting around.
I was quite surprised that when 5-0 sent me the dreaded "we rushed into this, I'm not sure if I'm ready, i need a break to think" speech he sent via text message. Really? Listen, I know, I get it. I don't like confrontation either. But this really should have at least been a phone conversation. Honestly, I'm guessing he didn't want to be confronted about some 'other issue' I stupidly made a point to bring up. I KNOW! IM AN IDIOT! I WAS PMS-ING AND COULDN'T HELP MYSELF.
Quite frankly, I have to agree with you 5-0. This whole thing with us went from 0-100 fast. And I have been thinking it the whole time. But guess what. That's not normally how I operate. And a girl cant help herself. If the guy i'm dating is playing the bf card and setting the pace... i will fall in line, unless of course I wasn't into it. So please. Don't make me feel like i'm the one rushing things.. when you have been in control this entire time.
No, I don't want this to be the end of 5-0. Like I have said, he is an amazing person and very kind, and one of the few people I have had true feelings for in some time. But I can't help to think that this "break" was only a gentle way of putting the inevitable... break up. Is that even what you call it when you have been dating for 3 weeks?
Its sad. And if this truly is the end of our "relationship" then its time for me to take a break from dating. Seriously. It is exhausting. I have had to deal with shit like this since January and I need a break!!

Men and Women, this is truth:
Dating is great for the first week or 2. After that it, it sucks until you put a name on it.

Can you speak up please? I can't hear you!

Every once in a while, my life seems to have a theme. The same ideas come up in various conversations and contexts, and I’m left to mull it over. Recently, this is what’s been on my mind: it is always more important to value the actions of a man over his words; words can be false and empty, but actions speak volumes. It’s been coming from everywhere, from everyone, but I haven’t felt like it’s applied to me until recently.

Ferrell is great. I enjoy every moment I spend with him, and I wish we could spend even more time together. But here’s the problem – the man doesn’t speak; when it comes to us, he could be diagnosed with selective mutism (wow, graduate school really has taken a toll on me and somehow made me even more of a nerd). I have really had to stretch myself to look at what he’s doing and not what he’s saying, or not saying. It takes me a lot of self-discipline to avoid yelling at him and asking "Do you like me or not? Just tell me!" Instead, I hold it in, which is clearly not my specialty.

So for all my single ladies (read that with the Beyonce song in mind), here’s the deal: we hear all sorts of lines all the time, some of them touching and seemingly sincere but many of them ridiculous. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been given great lip-service from a guy I’m dating only to be disappointed a few weeks later when he stops calling or things fizzle. Actions speak louder than words, and we have to stop caring so much about what comes out of their mouths (because we all know most of it is bull) and start paying attention to all the little things they do; the calls, the texts, the dates, and the affection. Ferrell may not be full of sweet talk (channeling The Killers song) but when he picks me up a Yogurt Land shirt and kisses my shoulders in the morning, I hear him loud and clear.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

And another one falls, and another one falls...

... Another one bites the dust.

Benny and the Jets just couldn't hang. Apparently me dating other people took the fizz out of his cola, and rather than just saying this, he tried to turn it on me. What a delight! He said he wasn't ready for a commitment... huh, that's funny. I thought I was the one who was dating around, I was the one who was being casual, and I was certainly not the one telling my family about him, or showing them photos (o ya, within a week I was a topic of conversation with his family back east). After I brought this up, he faltered, and realized that it was all on him.

That's the second semi-relationship that has ended because the guy is freaking himself out. I could be angry but instead, I'm empowered. Why? Because I'm not to blame, in any way. I didn't do anything wrong - I was honest with him, I stuck to my guns, and I was a nice girl.

It seems like at every break up there is a moment of reflection, however short. For me, it's usually a mixture of what I did wrong, and why (insert ex's name here) is an asshole. But right now, I can look at this situation, and confidently tell myself that I'm innocent and can't be convicted of any dating crimes. In other words, I rock.

Monday, April 6, 2009

To Date, or not to Date?

That is the question isn't it?

Ugh, I swear this is the worst part about dating. When you reach that point where you start to wonder if and how many other people they are dating. And you wonder if its too early to be thinking that, which it almost always is. And you wonder, Should I be dating other people too? But then you think, well, I don't want to be dating anyone else. But you feel like you should be if its too soon to be thinking you shouldn't be with this other person.

In short.. way too many thoughts. Way too many things you can never fully understand or figure out unless you bring it up.

Its been 3 weeks dating 5-o and I only recently was hit with the thought of.. is he dating? Literally, last night.

It all started because he joked that i sent him dirty texts on Friday when I was drunk. Which I quickly reminded with proof of text history that I did no such thing. The unsettling part was when I said he must have received them from someone else, hes said nothing. Nothing at all to confirm or deny. Which is basically confirming. I had no idea what to say. And i guess it didn't really hit me until this morning. That is not good.

So I found myself thinking the dreaded questions... Who is it? How many? How serious?

This blows.. up the asshole.

The sad thing is.. I'm falling for this guy, and if we stopped seeing each other, i would probably be taking a much need break from dating....

I hate this shit.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

just when you think they are perfect....

BAM!! they do something dushy!! Well fine.. im going out with my broads tonight and having some vino!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

How can I eat it if I can't pronounce it?

Two boys, three dates, three nights in a row. Buckle up pumpkin puss - we're goin' for a ride.

Date #1 - Ferrell, me, his roommate, and their friend from Colorado ate kosher pizza and kosher salad from Kosher World while we watched Role Models. It was a delight; they all took turns making fun of me for being the only gentile there, a shiksa in my own right. But it was a welcome break from the prior three days of studying for my midterm. And I'm not going to lie to you, the veggie kosher pizza and salad was frickin' delicious, says the little British girl.

Date #2 - Benny and the Jets came to my neck of the woods to share in the post-midterm celebration with my school buddies (Billiam, and me. Margaritas, nachos, my virgin pina colada, and "I Love You Man" make for a good evening. Paul Rudd makes any date a winner. Benny got rave reviews from the friends, and from me too. He makes me laugh and also makes me feel like I'm in the beginnings of my dating life again- it's not so much concentrated on the physical, and it's giddy and silly.

Date #3 -
I ate Israeli food for the first time and it was awesome. I'm proud of myself for trying things I can't pronounce. Ferrell's friend Mo came, my biggest fan. Apparently he's been spreading my virtues to Ferrell's other friends. Holla!

They Call it the Happiest Place on Earth....

And I have to say... it was, for me anyway! My full day with 5-O started off with cuddling and breakfast at La Pain. After that we hit the road to D-land! Now if you know me, you know that I am very picky when it comes to judging Disneyland partners. We all know Painting Pimp is at the top of my list. But I have to say, 5-O, not bad. We both get rather annoyed with people who think they own the road because they have strollers and those who feel it necessary to stop in the middle of a walk way... think like the freeway... PULL OVER!!

At the beginning of the day we made jokes about how people who are old and tired ride the train around and we joked about going back to the car to rest. Little did we know, we would be doing both of those things later in the day. Yes, i'll admit, we were both pretty lame.

By 4 or 5 o'clock we had gone on about 4 rides but had walked through both parks quite a bit. We hopped on the train and road it around the park...TWICE.

The day ended with a fabulous dinner at club 33 and a minute or so of the fireworks show on the balcony.

Overall, a very nice day, and we weren't sick of each other by the end of it! I think I like him :)

Monday, March 23, 2009

Just when I count them out...

...they pull me back in. Ferrell surfaced again after his time away from California. I have to say I'm pleased that he called me from LAX when he landed; I like him and I was bummed that I had to start mentally getting over him. I didn't want to count him out, because ultimately I really enjoy spending time with him.

And I got another pick-me-up. About a month ago, I met one of his friends briefly at his place. We chatted for a bit and joked a little, and I didn't think anything of it until Ferrell told me a delightful tidbit. Apparently, his friend called him the next day, and the sole purpose for the call was to tell Ferrell that "yes he thought you were beautiful, but he said that he thought you were just really cool and smart, just an awesome girl." It's always nice to get a pat on the back from the friends, even when it comes three weeks after the fact. I met another friend again tonight, and he told Ferrell "Convert her and marry her!" Nice...

And maybe just one more piece of smile-inducing news. Ferrell suggested that we take a mini trip somewhere, like an overnight to the beach and stay in a hotel. There is only one downside - I have to keep in mind the fact that he doesn't want a serious relationship. I have to be aware of my perspective on all of this, even though my hopes are already sky-high. "Don't get your hopes up" is a joke of statement. My best friend and I have had that discussion on numerous occasions; the minute someone warns you not to get your hopes up, they're already nearly out of reach.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Another one Bites the Dust

Really? No... I mean it... really? This is insane. Within two days, my three men were narrowed down to one. So let's update my loyal readers, because if nothing else it's entertainment for you (by the way it's still my life).

Ferrell has been counted out. I spoke with him briefly last week and he has been traveling on the other coast, but in my opinion, if you can't pick up a phone to say hi, then you really must be holding fast to that whole "I don't want a committed relationship" bit. And that's fine, but I'm going to begin to mentally move on. I would be dumb if I didn't, and a poor excuse for a future psychologist. But come on... really? When you're 31 and you've been dating someone for over two months, it seems like you should be able to actually end something rather than drifting off into oblivion....

Next! Nomad has freaked himself out again. There is a back story here that is far too long to go into, and I haven't discussed Nomad very much because he's the one person who would be upset if he learned about this blog. So in his interest I have written about him sparingly. But screw it, I need to vent Internet style. Nomad is emotionally unavailable - his words not mine. He's been this way since long before I met him, long before I dated him a year ago, and long before he came back into the country and wanted to start things up again. I am so emotionally available that it's taken me years to learn how to hold back and contain myself.

Was this a dating disaster waiting to happen? Meh... maybe, but I thought he would be able to hold off on freaking himself out for another week before he left for four months. I thought wrong. We set up an actual date, something we haven't done since we reconnected and rekindled. All seemed good, and then a text trying to end it, informing me that he can't handle it right now, he's got too much to think about, he's leaving..... give me a break. Texts? Really? I didn't know we were in middle school. I don't care how great you say I am or how much you care - grow a pair and pick up the phone... or maybe even an in-person goodbye? What a thought.

Bon voyage!

Schooled in the Art of Dating

First off.. Happy St. Patty's Day! Instead of enjoying a green beer, I myself was at home cleaning and doing laundry trying to catch up from my weekend of gallivanting in Vegas.

Men. Here's a tip. Ways to court a woman does NOT include not talking to her all day and hitting her up with a text at 9:30 at night on a Tuesday seeing if she wants to come over, or if you can 'stop by.' That my friends is practically a booty call. And just because you got it once, doesn't mean you can have it whenever you want.

And please don't bullshit us with the excuse that you tried to message us online and never got a response. ITS CALLED A PHONE! Try picking it up and using it for once!

When did men start thinking that they can hit a woman up at any hour of the night or day even and they will be ready and waiting? Sorry.. not happening here.

And you would think.. you would really think that if you haven't seen the woman you are dating for over a week now, partly because she has been out of town.. you would be jumping at the chance to make plans....

Consider the cool down ON!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Bring on the Cheese

Warning: If you are disgusted by lovely dovy cheese.. do not read!

Ok, all I have to say is CBG who?? CBG is a distant memory! Tell me this isn't fate:
My friend talks me into doing free 7 days on I sign up, I hate it. Don't see anything interesting at all. I cancel about 3 days in. After I cancel, I get an email from a guy saying hes interested etc and to call him. I give him my personal email and we email back and forth a bit only to find out that we are both in Vegas the upcoming weekend for the same event. With high hope we make plans to see each other in Vegas.

Let me just say, in all my 22 years I have never felt the way I feel about 5-O. Yes, that is what he has been dubbed, and yes, it is what you think it is. He is the most amazing person I have ever met and I can't stop thinking about him. I have no idea how 2 people can find each other completely by chance and end up traveling to the same place on the same weekend and have everything be completely perfect... is it FATE? I'm betting on yes...

Monday, March 16, 2009

I never thought I'd say this....

...but I'm really burnt out on dating. Juggling three great guys is no easy task; well... no shit it's not. It's time for some "me time", more school time, some girl time even. This is just one of the many signs that tells me I wasn't born to be a Playa' or a P.I.M.P., despite what my friends at school say. I'm exhausted.

I've said it over and over again, I don't like playing the game; I would much rather be with one person, happily in a relationship with it's delightful blandness at times and predictability; I dig it. I've consistently been in relationships since I was 14, and it's just a hard habit to quit. Maybe that's my vice? With no drinking, drugs, or sex, I'm left with with boys and Coca Cola.... odd.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Pat, I'd Like To Buy A Vowel...

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I've never had a horrible first date. It's what you make of it, and the weirder the better in my opinion. If you can entertain me for a few hours with whatever, then I'm fairly pleased. And last week, I had a doozy of a first date, and it can be summed up in three, loud, audience-screaming words: Wheel of Fortune!!!! O ya, I got a pat on the back by Pat Sayjak and I'm becoming increasingly jealous of Vanna White. It's like she gets to be Miss America every day of her life!

So who's the new guy, and what's his nickname? Let's spin the wheel to find out...

Pat Sayjak: The clue to the puzzle is "Famous Elton John Song".
Me: I'll spin the wheel Pat! Come on! Big money!!!
Pat: Alright you've got $500!
Me: I'd like a B!
Pat: Yes there's one B!........ (just play along and pretend that 5 TV minutes have gone by)
Me: I'd like to solve the puzzle.... Benny and the Jets?
Pat: That's correct!

He's a friend of an ex-friend, actually the friend of an ex-boyfriend. The situation could be sticky, but due to the fact that I now hate that ex and Benny and the Jets isn't close to him, there shouldn't be much of an issue. In any case, Benny and the Jets has only been in California for six weeks. He's an implant from Detroit/South Carolina. I'm his first date, and I have no clue how he'll top this one. He was funny and made me laugh, and I think that's the most important aspect of any date. The whole morning/afternoon was easy-going and hilarious, and he left me with a hug; quite the gentleman and obviously not from California. I was thrilled.

As I've said before, I don't particularly enjoy juggling men and dates, but, unfortunately, Ferrell doesn't want a girlfriend or a serious relationship right now, and although I'm doing quite well without a significant other myself, I would like to think that dating could lead to something more. Benny and the Jets could be something to hold on to. I suppose we will see.Who knows, maybe we'll go on The Price is Right next time and I'll win a lifetime supply of Cup of Noodles.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For..

Why is it that I, and most women can never be happy with the nice guy? He's sweet, thoughtful, isn't a jerk, but still just not the right fit. CBG is great, he really is... but he's not adding any flame to my fire. In fact, hes putting my fire out. I'm sorry, but i need excitement, butterflies, that feeling that you just can't wait to see him and hear what he has to say. CBG is just falling a bit...short, in more ways than one. I'll see how long I can go with it, but there is no hero in this comic book love story.

On another note, I had my first meeting with....lets call him Bro, because he was so bro. So listen, we all enjoy our fair share of sarcasm. But when it comes out with every single sentence, its a bit much. This kid was so annoying, I wanted to yell, just shut up already. I was shocked he was the one who suggested going to a museum for our date. Sorry Bro, no match here...


Monday, March 2, 2009

Meeting the Friends

The 'meeting of the friends' is usually reserved for a time after you have been on a few dates. But seeing as I don't do anything by the book... lets try on our 2nd date. CBG and I were supposed to have an evening to ourselves, dinner and possibly a movie. That all went to shit the morning of. You know there is nothing like getting up early to shave and really beautify and then having to reschedule the date you have been looking forward to all week. This put a funk in my whole day.

However, my friends/coworkers had planned for some after work cocktails.. so I thought I would partake. 4 margaritas later, I get a text that he's on his way, and he will have to meet all of my friends. Scary to some, maybe exciting to others. But I have to say CBG passed with flying colors, we closed the bar down and my friends loved him! A true test. We also had our first smooh that night, just fabulous.

Sidenote: bad breath can and will ruin that kiss you've been looking forward to all night

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I'll Take One Second Date Please!

I don't get it. What is so hard about planning date #2. And since when do men just assume that date #2 will happen? I swear I had to twist Comic Book Guys arm to get plans for date 2 going.

Sure, I understand that we both have acknowledged that we like each other, but that doesn't mean date 2 is going to plan itself! And here's a tip if you are going to date me... take some initiative! Take control! Tell me where we are going, when, and what to wear! Maybe not the last bit but I absolutely hate guys who want you to make all the decisions. CBG better have something good planned. I have high hopes...

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Cut It Out

One of my first guest writings on this blog was about the inordinate amount of ex boyfriends at my birthday party. I was just short of proud at the fact that I had sustained the relationships for as long as I had, even though some of them ended badly. But, last week I got a reality check.

He and I had dated in a long ago and far away land called high school, but we have known each other since the seventh grade. We were the perfect argument to the theory that opposites attract. It was messy, and he has shown me on countless occasions, in hundreds of ways that he is incapable of caring about anyone other than himself, at least in a relationship. Somehow I still found a way to forgive him throughout the years, even though I lacked this strength with other friendships. But now I'm done.

We hadn't had a real social outing together in well over a year. He was high when he picked me up, took Xanax when we got to his friend's apartment, smoked more, and then got drunk. He left me to drive him and his car home, while he passed out in the passenger seat. He refused to fill up the gas tank, and, like I predicted, we ended up on the side of the 101 freeway. I had to call AAA at 3:30 in the morning and tell them I had run out of gas. So yes, I was angry; actually I was furious. He knew this, and said to me, without hesitation "I don't give a fuck what you think, how you feel, or what you do." And then the battery died; I warned him about this too but he said it couldn't happen so fast. And with that, it was over. When the car died, my care for him, my compassion, my empathy died along with it.

It was the night from hell, but I don't regret it. I believe that regrets are what results from being hurt and not learning from it. But I learned that, sometimes, you have to cut people out. I have never consciously ended relationships before, it just occurs naturally sometimes. Some people just aren't good for you; he isn't Carrie's Mr. Big; he isn't even the one who got away; he's nothing but a complete and utter asshole. And that's the end.

Friday, February 20, 2009

My first date!

Well I just can't stop smiling today!
It is a pleasant surprise when you end up on your first eHarmony date and it turns out just fabulous! I have to say, after talking to this guy, who has been dubbed comic book; I was actually excited for this date! I haven't acted this girly in a while. I was feeling great the whole day but then about 5 minutes before I was supposed to leave to meet for happy hour, I got sooo nervous! But as expected 10 minutes in, the convo was flowing, I had a cocktail, and things were fine.
I haven't had this giddy feeling in a while and I have to say, it's rather nice! Sure its not that hard to find a decent looking guy with a good job online.. but the chemistry is what makes it!! And let me tell you.. it was there! I never realized until last night that being smart is a total turn on! Love it!

We'll see who is the hero in this comic book!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

I just threw up in my mouth a little

This is not dating related. But since I haven't started my 'nasty ho's' blog, I had to post here...

So last night I go to a local show for this band I like. I'm not quite sure how I even recognized her but crack face Jael from America's Next Top Model was there. I instantly cringed when I first saw this person. It took me a few minutes to realize it was the crazy looks/sounds like a man loser from ANTM. This she-man makes you feel the need to shower. I dont know how many drugs she was on but she was tore up!!

Later after the band performed I was in the bar and all of a sudden saw her start to brawl with this sweet asian girl! Jael flew at her out of nowhere and punched her in the face. After that the horrendous shit talk came out of her mouth which is too rediculous and disgusting to even repeat. I dont know what her problem was but this chick with a dick is the nastiest thing I have seen in a long time. She looks as low class as it gets. She probably has crabs in her mustache. If you ever see this beast.. beware she may try and spit some herpes in your face for no reason.

Monday, February 16, 2009

It’s better to have loved and lost….

Psychologically, our minds want to relive things, make similar choices and decisions whether they have had a positive outcome in the past or not. Why? Because our brains are more comfortable repeating patterns than starting something new. We’re more likely to start a new relationship if we’ve had a failed one rather than never having one at all. This is where serial daters, long-term dating loops, and other related terms begin to make sense.

Me? I’m a relationship girl. I’ve been doing it since I was 14, and it seems to be what my brain, my heart, and my body feel comfortable doing. Even though I finally felt strong and rather kick ass over a month ago for having felt good about being single, my heart skips a beat when I imagine the alternatives and the possibilities. So, perhaps it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, because at least you will be more likely to love again.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Hello, internet dating? There's been a mistake!

Oh what's that? There wasnt a mix up you say?? It seems like every time I meet a new female on the internet, they are the greatest thing since sliced bread. They are funny, endearing, and they can hold a conversation without saying anything completely retarded. And then, we get to the in-person date; the crucible, if you will. Suddenly the amazing person you met online is but a mere husk of a person. Was her brain erased before she made it out to the restaurant ? Did she tragically lose her sense of humor in an accident? It seems like when the date finally begins, she expects me to do all the work and be funny, and take the helm of the conversation. It just feels like one is on a date with a completely new person; I understand that there is the initial tension of meeting someone face to face for the first time, but after twenty minutes of a girl sitting quietly making me put in all the effort....I can only care so much to keep the effort going. Dates need to be on an equal ground, where both parties can be comfortable and able to converse with each other uninterrupted by third parties. I guess dating, and especially internet dating is like a war; every date is a new battleground with a new enemy, and the whole time you're trying to push forward to get in their foxhole. But sometimes you just have to ask yourself: can there be a treaty, or is it just time to drop the big one? War is hell. But I'd rather get shot in the leg than go on one more boring ass date.

-CupCake Bandit

"It's hot, the butter in my pocket is melting!"

Let's Just Be Friends

A few months ago, I started thinking about a few of my guy friends and the men I surround myself with. It's a pretty good mix, but something was glaring at me; there has been a lot of sexual chemistry between a lot of them (and me, not each other... just to clarify). One of my ex-boyfriends is one of my best friends, hands down. Although we have both moved on to date other people, there are moments when it becomes horribly obvious that he hasn't healed and I have my own attachment problems. Another good friend fits this description too, but the friendships keep truckin' because I'd rather have them in my life awkwardly then not at all.

But other than ex-flames, this single girl has now become to question whether or not platonic friendships are even possible. Some odd confessions have been made to me; drunk or sober, they're confessions nonetheless. I have at least one best friend who I know I'll never have to deal with this with, God willing. It doesn't just jeopardize the friendship, it freaks us out and makes us wonder what signs we have been missing.

And just a thought, when people pick out lobsters at a seafood restaurant, aren't they kind of playing God?

Giving it Another Shot

So, I was chatting with a couple of my single gals over superbowl beers about online dating. Now as we know, I have never had too much success with this. But after hearing some of my friends voctorious meetings from interdudes I was considering giving it another try.

About a week ago I decided to try with Match again. After realizing that $60 was too much for me to shell out I cancelled, but not before I talked to a couple guys. As usual nothing grabbed me. Last weekend me and the girls decided we were all going to try eHarmony together. We all felt it was the better choice and that guys on that site are more 'serious' than match guys. Where we came up with this rediculous conclusion, I have no idea.

So a few days ago I signed up. Remarkably I found a discount code that got me 3 months for only $30. I was amazed, and thrilled. Over the last couple days I have got a ton of matches and am talking to a few. I figure if anything it will make for some great stories for the blog world.

Stay tuned...

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Beware Facebook Friending!

What is it with meeting crazy creeper guys? Not sure if i mentioned 'security' whom i met on new years when i was working. He wanted to go out and I politely told him I was seeing someone. He seemed fine with this. My mistake was accepting his friend request on facebook. He starts i-ming me every time I'm online. Not to mention always asking if i'm 'still with my guy' and even going as far as saying how lucky this guy must be and that he bets I'm crazy in the sack... WHAT??!!? I dont even know you!! Seriously.. major creeps!! I immediately deleted him from friends. Careful when you go to skybar.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Must Be Funny

One of the standard first questions in the dating world is "What do you look for in a man?" While we roll this question around in our heads, trying to dream up a perfect response to this man we've just met, I wonder if any of us ever actually have a good answer. It always keeps changing, after every man we date or grow to hate. The definition expands as our dating lives do. Wouldn't it be great if one day a man asked us that question and we could respond in one word: "you"?

After my dating marathon of a year, I could write a fairly entertaining mini-series on my new and improved definition of a perfect man. It would include: not a stress-case like "Nomad" but just as good looking, not an idiot like "Drunken Dancer", not an indecisive, dramatic 12-year-old girl like "Jimbo Jones", not a douche bag like "Mr. Hollywood", some good looks like "Minor League" without the ego, no "Frenchie's" with their excessive amounts of money, and, at all costs, avoid the boring, yet sweet, "IQ's".

Maybe the new year has given me this new perspective, and a new man. After speaking with "Ferrell" for a few minutes on New Year's Eve, he asked me the famous, aforementioned question. My response was simple, straight-forward, and a direct result of my most recent, failed dating blitz: "He has to be funny." I guess if I had to take out a personal ad, that would be the title, 'must be funny'. He can't take himself too seriously and he has to be able to make me laugh. So far, I'm still happily optimistic about "Ferrell" and myself. I think this is one of the best aspects of a new relationship; the other is the fireworks.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Easy Come, Easy Go

If you can get through the dating without becoming too emotionally invested, you won't care that it ends, period. Unfortunately, that almost never happens, because, as women, we tend to actually care. I recently lucked out. After casually dating a man for over a month when I realized something shocking; he was boring. Just really, very boring. It needed to end; I needed to get out of it before Christmas gifts were exchanged and guilt festered. So, with my best friend in the car, I had to end up ending things with him on the phone, which you never want to do because we bitch when it gets done to us. But, it had to go down. He was getting pissy and I was getting irritated. Rather than simply telling him that he was painfully dull at times, I lied... just a little lie though. I told him what we all say a times, "I can't give you what you need right now." It was true, in a way. He wanted me to be his girlfriend, and not date anyone else. I don't want that. Done. Simple as that. Isn't it an amazing feeling when you end it, on your terms, and it just works out? I think so. Single for another day.

Greek anyone?

So my latest date was with a greek gentlemen i met while out with my good luck charm. I swear, whenever I go out with this particular friend, I always meet a guy.

Moving on... so he was cute. Not typically what I go for good looking enough. We talked for an hour or so until the bar closed. Instead of giving in to his suggestion to come home with me I thought I'd see if he actually wanted to take this any further. Apparently he did because we had a date set for the following week! My only problem was that he was greek and had some very odd name that i forgot the instant that he told me. Somehow I was lucky when he had sent me a photo to show me a new iphone feature and his full name came up. Otherwise I would have been stuck playing the..."how do you spell your name?" game.

Now heres my problem. I know I write people off very quickly so men seriously need to keep me interested. Here's one thing that wont keep me... not taking any control. Listen guys: Im sure there are plenty of women out there that like to wear the pants and make all the decision but i'm not one of them. I want you to tell me where were going, what were doing, and when you will be picking me up. Mr Greek did none of this.

Trying to "give him a chance" as my best gal and oddly enough my mother insisted on, i suggested dinner and a movie. Long story short, he was late, i bought the tickets, but he bought dinner. I found out he'd never been in a serious relationship--at 23 that says something... im not writing him off--but it says something. He also seemed to have no direction, and kinda seemed like an alcoholic. I really wasnt that into it but he was a nice enough guy. I thought if he wanted to go out again i'd give him another chance. I knew I wouldn't have to worry about that after he gave me a half hug and didnt try for the kiss.

Another one bites the dust....