Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I've Gotten Rid of All my Men

I have been thinking and talking about this for the last week or so. I need a break from dating. I feel like since the beginning of the year it has been non stop and I just cant handle it. Dating is exhausting. And after 5-0 fucked me over, I just have no energy. I have been talking to a few guys lately and they want to go out. And I said no. I mean I really just need a break. I need me time, and i really need the 'dating detox.' Im done with match, done with eharmony and done with texting. People need to grow some balls and call a person. The next guy I go out with I'll hope to have met the old fashioned way... out somewhere or through a friend. Honestly I dont even want to think about it.

So, this is my farewell for now. Who knows I may be back on Monday writing about some hot catch i found over the weekend. But for now.. I'll leave the stories to painting pimp.

Au Revoir

Monday, April 20, 2009

Im Losing Hope in This Town

Seriously. I am. What is the big problem with communicating. I pride myself in being a person that will answer someone, at least by text. I mean.. i cant even get into this problem fully. Its amazing. Men in LA just are too lazy and way to into themselves to care. Apparently, even the ones that are not originally from here! I have always said I can't do long distance. But unless I move to another state I may have to since everyone out here are idiots!!

Yes, I met Jersey, briefly. It was as me and buddy were about to head home. We stopped at cabo and said hello, met a few of his friends but then had to leave because buddy had a date. I made sure to suggest another meeting this week so he didn't think i wasn't interested. He said ok. I text him when i got home to say sorry i had to leave so quick and that i'd definitely like to hang out this week some time. No Answer.
What the hell.. I swear

Friday, April 17, 2009

Dating Detox, or not?

So. I'm not gonna lie to you guys. I'm putting it out there. I have been pretty down after getting jilted by 5-0. In fact, if i really think about it, i get pretty sad. But moving on. Since feeling this way for the last.. week or so I decided to pull out a book my boss gifted me recently. It had been sitting with a pile of magazines for about 2 months and last night i decided.. why not.

So I opened up 'Be Your Own Matchmaker' by Patti Stanger with nothing more than hopes it would bring me a couple good laughs. However after reading 1/2 way into the first chapter i realized. Hey, this is all true, and maybe what i need right now. Make fun if you will. But Patti's step one of 'dating detox' seemed like exactly what i needed after 5-0 was added to the dusher mcgee list of guys i've come across.

So get this. I'm reading the book about how i need to take 1-3 months off from dating. Patti says the length of time off depends on how long your last relationship was. For me, I only needed 30 days. So im reading and thinking..YES! This is just what i need!

Now we all know the saying "when it rains it pours" and "someone will come along when you stop looking" Well I agree with this but I hadn't realized how quickly the universe makes this happen. Karma... I swear!

Literally, I'm reading the book and I get a text from this fire guy I haven't heard from in months..maybe longer! Yup.. he wanted me to come visit him at the station...and guess what? I did! Nothing happened. I can tell this guy is still in his hit em and quit em stage. But who knows.. hes fun, cute, and wears a uniform.

There's more. Now just when i decided I'm going to ignore my and follow Patti's dating detox instructions... 2 guys...TWO, start chatting me up! One of them we had sent a couple emails back and forth. And he is a little old for me. But he's attractive, successful.. why not. We'll call him Tennis Pro for now. The other one, who has and will always be dubbed, Jersey, self explanatory... was quite a delight. We chatted for a bit, our dry sense of humor seemed to play off of each other and we may meet up at the beach on Sunday.

I tell you.. this always happens... i would stay in dating detox, but quite frankly Patti, I need to get my mind off of dusher mcgee.

Bring it on!!!

Monday, April 13, 2009

And Your Name is??

Apparently all men I come across named Jason are assholes. Ooops. Guess we arent supposed to use real names in this blog. Oh well. Im just sayin.

5-0 turned out to be a dusch. I swear, this guy has him game figured out perfectly. He lures women in, and know that a girl loves being loved. He gives her all the attention in the world, does and says all the right things, and then leaves you. With no real explanation. Try growing some balls and talking for one. Text message? What a cop out. I can't believe after the time spent 5-0 was so heartless he couldnt even provide me with any reasoning, or closure.

This guy obviously has issues. Besides the dating debacle. We had quite the conversation about 'problems' he is dealing with. And someone even got teary eyed--no, it wasnt me. I guess i would just think after opening yourself up to someone like that you would have the decency to call them.
5-0, I really didnt think you to be an asshole. Looks like I was wrong.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

The Beginning of the end?

I have to agree with Painting Pimp that there seems to be some barrier between the communication of men and women. More specifically on the male side. I think of myself as an honest person, who will tell it like it is and not string someone along. I'm not going to tell you I "need a break" or "now just isn't the right time." Because quite frankly. That is just going to give you hope that something is possible in the future. And who needs to waste their time waiting around.
I was quite surprised that when 5-0 sent me the dreaded "we rushed into this, I'm not sure if I'm ready, i need a break to think" speech he sent via text message. Really? Listen, I know, I get it. I don't like confrontation either. But this really should have at least been a phone conversation. Honestly, I'm guessing he didn't want to be confronted about some 'other issue' I stupidly made a point to bring up. I KNOW! IM AN IDIOT! I WAS PMS-ING AND COULDN'T HELP MYSELF.
Quite frankly, I have to agree with you 5-0. This whole thing with us went from 0-100 fast. And I have been thinking it the whole time. But guess what. That's not normally how I operate. And a girl cant help herself. If the guy i'm dating is playing the bf card and setting the pace... i will fall in line, unless of course I wasn't into it. So please. Don't make me feel like i'm the one rushing things.. when you have been in control this entire time.
No, I don't want this to be the end of 5-0. Like I have said, he is an amazing person and very kind, and one of the few people I have had true feelings for in some time. But I can't help to think that this "break" was only a gentle way of putting the inevitable... break up. Is that even what you call it when you have been dating for 3 weeks?
Its sad. And if this truly is the end of our "relationship" then its time for me to take a break from dating. Seriously. It is exhausting. I have had to deal with shit like this since January and I need a break!!

Men and Women, this is truth:
Dating is great for the first week or 2. After that it, it sucks until you put a name on it.

Can you speak up please? I can't hear you!

Every once in a while, my life seems to have a theme. The same ideas come up in various conversations and contexts, and I’m left to mull it over. Recently, this is what’s been on my mind: it is always more important to value the actions of a man over his words; words can be false and empty, but actions speak volumes. It’s been coming from everywhere, from everyone, but I haven’t felt like it’s applied to me until recently.

Ferrell is great. I enjoy every moment I spend with him, and I wish we could spend even more time together. But here’s the problem – the man doesn’t speak; when it comes to us, he could be diagnosed with selective mutism (wow, graduate school really has taken a toll on me and somehow made me even more of a nerd). I have really had to stretch myself to look at what he’s doing and not what he’s saying, or not saying. It takes me a lot of self-discipline to avoid yelling at him and asking "Do you like me or not? Just tell me!" Instead, I hold it in, which is clearly not my specialty.

So for all my single ladies (read that with the Beyonce song in mind), here’s the deal: we hear all sorts of lines all the time, some of them touching and seemingly sincere but many of them ridiculous. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been given great lip-service from a guy I’m dating only to be disappointed a few weeks later when he stops calling or things fizzle. Actions speak louder than words, and we have to stop caring so much about what comes out of their mouths (because we all know most of it is bull) and start paying attention to all the little things they do; the calls, the texts, the dates, and the affection. Ferrell may not be full of sweet talk (channeling The Killers song) but when he picks me up a Yogurt Land shirt and kisses my shoulders in the morning, I hear him loud and clear.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

And another one falls, and another one falls...

... Another one bites the dust.

Benny and the Jets just couldn't hang. Apparently me dating other people took the fizz out of his cola, and rather than just saying this, he tried to turn it on me. What a delight! He said he wasn't ready for a commitment... huh, that's funny. I thought I was the one who was dating around, I was the one who was being casual, and I was certainly not the one telling my family about him, or showing them photos (o ya, within a week I was a topic of conversation with his family back east). After I brought this up, he faltered, and realized that it was all on him.

That's the second semi-relationship that has ended because the guy is freaking himself out. I could be angry but instead, I'm empowered. Why? Because I'm not to blame, in any way. I didn't do anything wrong - I was honest with him, I stuck to my guns, and I was a nice girl.

It seems like at every break up there is a moment of reflection, however short. For me, it's usually a mixture of what I did wrong, and why (insert ex's name here) is an asshole. But right now, I can look at this situation, and confidently tell myself that I'm innocent and can't be convicted of any dating crimes. In other words, I rock.

Monday, April 6, 2009

To Date, or not to Date?

That is the question isn't it?

Ugh, I swear this is the worst part about dating. When you reach that point where you start to wonder if and how many other people they are dating. And you wonder if its too early to be thinking that, which it almost always is. And you wonder, Should I be dating other people too? But then you think, well, I don't want to be dating anyone else. But you feel like you should be if its too soon to be thinking you shouldn't be with this other person.

In short.. way too many thoughts. Way too many things you can never fully understand or figure out unless you bring it up.

Its been 3 weeks dating 5-o and I only recently was hit with the thought of.. is he dating? Literally, last night.

It all started because he joked that i sent him dirty texts on Friday when I was drunk. Which I quickly reminded with proof of text history that I did no such thing. The unsettling part was when I said he must have received them from someone else, hes said nothing. Nothing at all to confirm or deny. Which is basically confirming. I had no idea what to say. And i guess it didn't really hit me until this morning. That is not good.

So I found myself thinking the dreaded questions... Who is it? How many? How serious?

This blows.. up the asshole.

The sad thing is.. I'm falling for this guy, and if we stopped seeing each other, i would probably be taking a much need break from dating....

I hate this shit.